Tom: Bb minor•
Intro 1
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Verse 1
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I love a murder mystery upon the radio
I love it
I love it
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I really love it so the heroine is yelling
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while the sponsor goes on selling
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don't touch me you brute
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Use delirium for your tube.
Sam shovels in a hovel,
he must grovel for a clue.
I love it, I love it, I rally, rally do.
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Charlotte Helms will give his answer,
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interrupted by the sponsor.
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You see Wat son, when the villain.
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Painless Joel, do your drilling.
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I'm nervous when I turn the dial,
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I'm dizzy in the head.
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When it's time for inner stankum,
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Don't shoot me, Biggs, the stoolie,
as they put him through the mill.
I'll shoot you, I'll shoot you.
Seriously, I will.
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The girl he tries to take
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and then we have a station break.
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Come on, baby, come to me.
Boing, boing, boing.
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This is station C -O -D. -
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but how can he, he's dead.
Why this is a job for Superman,
or Hopalong Cavity,
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or Jack Headstrong, the all -American boy,
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But I don't scare easily, not me,
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I'm too frightened to be scared.
I'll find the killer, I'll
search the apartment,
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aha, just as I thought,
three shoes under the bed.
for a man with three feet.
Ha ha ha! But I have it now, Inspector!
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I can even kill a lawyer!
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His name is... Pain less Joel,
do ya, darlin'?
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My flesh begins to creep
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and then my skin begins to crawl.
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You'd think I was a wind
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the way I wiggle down the hall.
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I love a murder mystery upon the radio.
I love it. I love it.
I really love it so.
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I love it when I'm listening late at night
and a murderer's stalking a heroine.
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And a hero is stalking a murderer
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and a private eye is stalking a hero
And the cops are stalking the private eye
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And they're coming in closer and closer
Surely but closer and surely
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They're coming out of the radio
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Now they're stalking me
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What have I done?
I was only listening to the radio
Now they're throwing
They're coming closer and closer
And I don't know the conjunctive
moods of anyone
That may be based on the fact
that other people
They say they're fat
Where else I can spend you?
And certainly not the one in jail
I'm not well enough to know
that any health may say I'm wrong
And I feel that I must stay here now
No one else will ever know
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the fact I wish I was dead.
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But I love a murder mystery!
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Outro 1
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