Tom: D minor
Verse 1
Am
We ain't gonna believe what happened.
Are the final polls in already?
C
Am
Yeah, and goddamn won.
You know, can't believe he won.
I just can't believe it.
Yeah!
Let me hear you say yeah!
We won, we won, we won my nigga.
What I mean we won, I won.
All you motherfuckers did was vote.
Say, Mr. President
Say, yo, Mr. President
Stick up your middle finger
Stick your dick in the wind
And make the world give a nut
Yeah!
Dm
Am
Hey, all you residents
I'm your first bike president
D
Am
Let's fuckin' suck
F
Am
In the back of a truck
Em
Dm
Am
Hey, all you residents
G
Am
Meet your first bike president
Dm
Am
F
Then let's get down and
Am
Em
fuck every guy in town.
Boy, what a motherfuckin' night.
Morning, Mr. President.
How's everything going today?
Good morning to you, Mr. Secretary.
All right, I guess.
Your voice sounds a little hoarse there,
doesn't it?
You motherfuckin' right,
I sound hoarse.
Been up all night, four or five orages,
eight puss in all that kinda shit.
By the way, where's that little bitch,
Miss Click?
You believe she's got the hemorrhoids?
Well, never mind the hemorrhoids.
Who we got in a place this morning?
Uh, Madam Gigi.
Madam Gigi? that what it says there?
What? Gigi? she's got a
Latin confusion here.
Oh, that little Cuban bitch
from Cuban times.
Yeah, she's coming down right now,
Mr. President.
Here she comes.
Good morning, Mr. President.
G#
Am
Good morning. what
the fuck's your name?
Gigi. Madam Gigi. Gigi.
Uh, Madam Gigi.
Uh, how's it going, baby?
Are you sure you can handle this job?
I think so, Mr. President, sir.
Yeah, I don't think you got any problem
Dm
with this one, Mr. President.
Am
if it anything you want to ask your first black president,
ha ha, that's me, just ask away.
F#
Shit, I hope you don't ask me none
Am
of those silly questions.
Okay, now remember to
make your questions
very short now.
Have you ever had the clap,
Mr. President, sir?
What? Have I ever had the...
This bitch going to ask me
Am
some question like that?
I think she's going ask me
something about politics.
Do a motherfucking dick like this
and look at half the claps, bitch.
What can you rap, Mr. President, sir?
Check this out.
Am
All of you hoes in town,
get down, fuck around.
Do the black president,
do the funky Haitian,
do the Cuban coffee.
Yeah! You're a real asshole,
Mr. President, sir.
Uh, I'm a real...
What was that, Ms. Gigi?
Your classic goal, Mr. President.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, a minute there,
I thought a little bitch called me on the ass,
I was Mr. President, I have a favor for you.
Yes, ask away,
like I told you in the beginning.
I want to know, what are you going to do
Bb
Am
about abortion in the United States?
Because I have a cousin,
well, I have mucho cousins.
They could shoot my ex in the shit by
And they want to know
Am
if they can have abortions
for free and legally.
Tell them from now on
they can have any abortions
Am
They show me what I'm talking about,
I'll say it like this.
All over the world,
it's like one big party
Young girls getting fucked
from giving away their bodies
They even smoke weed
while waiting at the clinic
He's seen drugs and sex hats
become an epidemic
Met this young ho who daddy is a minister
She acts so shy, looks so innocent
But when I looked in her face,
I saw a reflection of her bed
Said the pussy's yours
if you got something for the head
They're doing it in the street,
on the beach, in campus
I could get rich from just selling powder
Cause every bitch I meet has a baby
Every bitch I meet is on drugs
Every bitch I meet has a hang up
They got fuckin' on their mind
and sex in their blood, yeah
No, Mr. President, you're a real prick
Uh, pardon me, I didn't get that?
I said you're it, Mr. President
Oh, oh, let's go, oh, thank you
Am
Still think that bitch fuckin' with me
G
Am
G
Am
G
C
G
Am
G
Am
G
Dm
Am
All you freaky residents,
G
Am
meet your first black president.
D
Am
Let's fuckin' suck,
F
G
Am
in the back of a truck.
Em
Am
All you freaky residents,
Am
I'm your first black president.
Am
F
G
Am
Em
Am
in the back of a truck.
G
Am
C
Am
G
Am
C
G
Yeah, baby.
Okay, ladies and gentlemen,
we're going to have a question and
answer session with the president.
Mr. President, we're short,
and we'll start with you, Ms. Clitty Litter.
Mr. President, what about the
Middle East conflict, sir?
Well, if they listened to me,
there wouldn't be no Middle East conflict.
If they just had one big, large,
and everybody fuck everybody,
Am
the whole Middle East would be happy.
Am
um, from CB F News, I'm Senator Elm,
is B .A. Smelly.
Mr. President, what about the Russians?
Well, I know this fine Russian chick
with this fine—oh, you mean politics.
Well, there won't be no trouble
between us and the Russians.
For every American that
the Russians fuck,
we're gonna fuck one of them.
Okay, over there, you.
Uh, Mr. President,
what about what you're gonna do about taxes?
Taxes? Oh, that's simple.
All the guys with ten inches more of dick
will get tax -free.
All the girls with a tight pussy
will get tax -free.
Okay, again, from P .T .I.,
Don't I know you from somewhere?
I don't think so, Ms. Clevely I think so.
Am
I kinda remember you from,
Am
I think it was high school,
His father was my brother.
Am
No, in 1976, I remember high school.
the bleachers,
you and the football coach.
Conference is over.
Am
Okay, we need to close down
Am
It was right behind the bleachers.
Forgot I fucked that fucking door?
Wait a minute, no, I know you.
Hey, hey, you know that job you wanted?
I gave you a second arrest.
Oh, okay, that's okay then.
Thank you.
Thank you, Mr. was close.
Okay, the president must
Damn right, let me get my black ass out
Outro 1
of of your very important questions.
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