Tom: Ab major
Intro 1
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well, ya got trouble, my friends right here, i say
Verse 1
trouble right
why, sure, i'm a billiard player,
certainly, mighty proud to say
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i'm always mighty proud to say it
Verse 2
the hours i spend
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with a cue in my hand are golden
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help ya cultivate horse sense,
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and a cool head, and a keen eye
ya ever try and take and give yourself an iron- clad
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leave to yourself from a three rail billiard shot
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But just as i say it takes judgement,
brains and maturity to score in a balkline game
i say that any boob can take and
Verse 3
and i call that sloth, the first big step on the
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road to the depths of degreda- i say first
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Medicinal wine from a teaspoon,
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then beer from a bottle
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then the next thing ya know your son is playin' for
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money in a pinched- back suit
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listenin' to some big outta town jasper,
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hearin him tell about horse race gamblin'
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not a wholesome trottin' race, no, but a race where they set down,
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like to see some stuck- up jockey boy settin' on dan patch,
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make him look- boy, well i should say
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now, friends lemme tell ya what i mean
Verse 4
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ya got one, two, three, four, five,
six pockets on a table
pockets that mark the difference between
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a gentleman and a bum
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with a capital B and that rhymes with
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P and that stands for pool
Verse 5
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and all week long your river city
youth will be fritterin' away
i say, your young men'll be
fritterin'
fritterin' away their noontime,
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choretime, suppertime too
get the ball in the pocket, nevermind gettin' dandelions pulled, or the screen door patched,
or the beefsteak pounded
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nevermind pumpin' any water till your parents are caught with
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the sistern empty on a saturday night
and that's trouble, oh yes, you got lots and lots of trouble,
i'm thinkin' of the kids in the knickerbockers, shirttailed young ones
Verse 6
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folks right here in river city
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trouble with a capital T and that rhymes
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with P and that stands for pool
Verse 7
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now, i know all you folks are the right kind of parents,
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i'm gonna be perfectly frank: wouldja like to know what kind of conversation goes on
while they're loafin'
around that hall
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they'll be tryin out Bevo, tryin' out Q- Bebs, tryin out Taylor Maids like cigarette
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feinds, and braggin' all about how they're gonna cover up a telltale breath with sensen
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one fine night, they leave the pool, headin' for the dance at the armory,
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river teen men, and scarlet women, and ragtime, shameless music that'll grab your son, your daughter
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with the arms of a jungle animal instinct,
friends, the idle brain is
the devil's playground
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trouble! (oh, we got trouble) right here in river
Verse 8
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city (right here
in river city)
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with a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for
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pool! (that stands for pool)
we've surely got trouble (we've surely got
trouble)
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right here in river city
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(right here)
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gotta figure out a way to keep the young ones moral after school
(our children's children gonna have trouble)
*in background, Trouble is chanted*
Verse 9
mothers of river city,
heed the warning before it's too late
watch for the telltale signs
of corruption!
the moment your son leaves the house,
does he rebuckle his knickerbockers below the knee?
is there a nicotine stain on
his index finger?
a dime novel hidden in the corncrib?
is he memorizing jokes out of Captain
Billy's Whizz- Bang?
are cetain words creeping into his conversation, words like,
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"swell", and "so's your old man"?
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Ya got trouble (oh, we got trouble)
Verse 10
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right here in river
city (right here in
river city)
with a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for
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pool (that stands for pool!)
we've surely got trouble (we've surely
got trouble)
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Right here in river city (right here)
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remember the main plymouth rock and the golden rule
(our children's children gonna have trouble)
Verse 11
we're in terrible,
terrible trouble
that game with the fifteen numbered balls is
the devil's tool (devil's tool)
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aaaaah, we got trouble, trouble, trouble (oh yes, we got trouble,
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here, we got big, big trouble)
with a T (with a capital T)
(that rhymes with P)
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(that stand for pool)
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