Tom: Bb minor•
Verse 1
Ebm
[Chorus]
What a surpriser, Open your eyes,
A Woman advisor
Verse 2
of this entertainement is
Bbm
'Women lose weight'
Ebm
Our first years of mariage
Bbm
everything was just great
Ebm
Bbm
But after two kids And a weight gain factor
Ebm
The fact is Now she's com
Bbm
pletely unattractive
Ebm
Look fat chicks I don't
Ebm
I tell her nice hit the gym
Bbm
And don't eat so much food
Ebm
But no Your shallow
Bbm
Ebm
You need to run the course of
Bbm
uncon ditionnal love and so forth
Ebm
Bbm
But how if desire's is not there That's
Divorce is, child support,
Ebm
Bbm
My happiness I doubt discouraged
Ebm
Bbm
So hurry for an easier way out
of this marriage
Ebm
Meanwhile my secretary
Ebm
When you gonna leave your wife I tell her
Bbm
Ebm
soon mommy soon, I assume
Bbm
Ebm
Or my des tiny is blue Interestingly The only
Bbm
Ebm
Gb
thing left for me to do is to kill her
Ab
[Chorus] What a surpriser, Open your
Verse 3
Gb
eyes,
Ebm
I'm gonna have to kill her
Bbm
Of course there's laws which
Bbm
Send that ass right to the morgue miss
Gb
Ab
Gb
What a surpriser, Open your eyes,
Ebm
I'm gonna have to kill her
Bbm
Of course there's laws which
Bbm
Send that ass right to the
morgue miss
Verse 4
against or shenanigans
Ebm
Knowin' nothing about poisoning
Ebm
Bad in tentions pumping
Bbm
Might as well become numb
Ebm
Cut her lungs or the obvious
Bbm
Ebm
robbery gone wrong
But the catch is do I have the
Bbm
nerve to dispatch this
Ebm
Who can I get to help me
Bbm
murder this fat chick
Ebm
I guess I'll have to
Ebm
On Wednesday The day she usually
Ebm
Bbm
Anyway long story short hit the
Ebm
Ab
And sent her clean over the divider
Ebm
Bbm
"You bastard" she said
Ab
As the wreck went tumblin down the hill
Db
I thought "she has to be dead"
Ebm
Bbm
Later on get a call (from a) Lieutenant
O'Rourke
Ebm
(had me) leapin like a frog We
Bbm
Ebm
need you at the morgue
Bbm
So I selfishly pursue
Ebm
"boohoo" there was nothing else for me
Bbm
Gb
to do I had to kill her
Ab
[Chorus] What a surpriser, Open your
Verse 5
Gb
eyes,
A Woman advisor
Bbm
Of course there's laws which
Bbm
Send that ass right to the
Ab
Gb
What a surpriser Open your eyes,
Bbm
Of course there's laws which
Bbm
Send that ass right to the
Verse 6
morgue miss
Bbm
[Verse 3]
Gb
Db
So you mean to tell me officer you don't have
Gb
no clue who did this hit and run
Db
No sir we don't have no clues right now
Ebm
This is terrible what am I gonna tell
Ebm
Pull yourself together sir
Bbm
Gb
I'm so broken up in side
Ab
I just can't believe this
Gb
Db
I understand, I understand
Ebm
Catch the person who did this
Bbm
Ebm
Bbm
We're gonna try sir Please
Ab
Ebm
Screamin "who done took my
Bbm
heart" acting shakin up a lot
Ebm
At the funeral though everyone was
Bbm
Ebm
lookin at me odd like I did it
Bbm
Like I was the reason my mates
slain murmuring
Gb
"I heard he was displeased with
Bbm
While my secretary sort of a sexy
Bbm
All she does is order from restaurants
Ebm
All of the sex you want I
Bbm
doubt could address,
Ebm
Clothes not washed proper and
house look a mess and
Talkin to detectives that
Bbm
Ab
was waitin outside
Ebm
How I took a long lunch break
Ebm
I darn near turned pale
Bbm
Ab
And because of betrayal they indicted
Ebm
Bbm
Ebm
me, and gave me an im possible bail
Bbm
Good fortune to anyone ad
Moral of the story is
Bbm
Desire is important
Ebm
Bbm
So watch your weight It'll keep you mate
smitten it's a given
Gb
Though looking back I realised I
didn't have to kill her
Ab
[Chorus] What a surpriser Open your
Verse 7
Gb
eyes,
Ebm
I didn't have to kill her
Bbm
Of course there's laws which
Bbm
Send that ass right to
I killed her
Ab
Gb
What a surpriser Open your eyes,
Ebm
I didn't have to kill her
Bbm
Of course there's laws which
Bbm
Send that ass right to the
Ab
Well there you have it
Verse 8
Ab
Ebm
your mariage healthy Do you know what I mean?
Bbm
Ebm
Small message from Morcheeba and
Bbm
Gb
Ab
Gb
Slick Rick the ruler
Ab
Ebm
Bbm
Peace
Outro 1
Ebm
Bbm
Gb
Db
Gb
Db
Ebm
Bbm
Gb
Db
Gb
Db
Ebm
Bbm
Gb
Db
Gb
Db
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