Tom: F major•
Verse 1
F
Bb
Eb
D
Gm
F
Bb
Eb
Our fam il ies
Bb
Dm
have traditions,
F
Bb
we've heard them a thousand times.
Our ancestors were
F
G
unequivocally right.
F
Dm
G
They frequently went on missions, to very peculiar clans,
Cm
F
Bb
Eb
to lead the wretched heathen to the light.
Bb
D
Gm
Though some of them were beaten up and some of them stampeded,
C
F
though quite a lot were eaten up, a few of them succeeded.
Bb
Dm
On one of these expeditions,
F
G
an uncle we thought a bore,
Gm
C
Turned out to be more spirited than ever
F
Eb
Gm
F
he'd been before.
Poor
Uncle
Bb
Harry wanted to be a missionary,
Eb
F
Bb
Eb
F
So he took a ship and sailed away.
Bb
F
Bb
This visionary, hotly pursued by dear
Aunt
Mary,
Eb
Found a
South
F
Bb
Sea isle on which to stay.
Ab
Db
The nat ives greeted them kindly
Ab
Db
and invited them to dine
Bb
On yams and clams and human
F
Bb
hams and vintage coconut wine
F#
The taste of which was filthy,
C
but the after -effects divine
F
Poor
Uncle
Bb
Harry got a bit gay and longed to tarry
Eb
This
Aunt
D
Gm
Mary couldn't quite allow
Bb
She lectured him severely on
F
Bb
a number of church affairs
Eb
But when she'd gone to bed he
F
Bb
made a getaway down the stairs
Eb
For he longed to hear the answer to a
D
Gm
few of the maiden's prayers
Uncle
Bb
F
Bb
Harry's not a missionary now
F
Now
Bb
Dm
Uncle was just a seeker,
Bb
Gm
a dreamer sin cerely blessed.
Bb
Of this there couldn't
Dm
The fact that his flesh was weaker than even our merry
G
C
Cm
F
Bb
Eb
guests took even her some time to figure out .
Bb
D
In all those languid latitudes,
Gm
the atmosphere's exotic.
C
To take up moral attitudes would
Bb
Though nobody could be
F
G
Uncle had been before,
Cm
C
F
Cm
Bb
Gm
F
G
I'll bet today he's giving way at practically every pore.
F
Poor
Uncle
Bb
Harry, having become a missionary,
Eb
F
Bb
F
found the natives' morals rather crude.
Bb
He and
F
Aunt
Bb
Eb
Mary swiftly imposed an arbitrary ban
F
Bb
upon them shopping in the mew.
Ab
Db
They all considered this silly and
Ab
Db
decided to rebel.
Bb
They burnt his boots and several suits,
F
which made a horrible smell.
Gm
F#
The subtle implication was that
C
F
Uncle could go to hell.
Poor
Uncle
Bb
Harry, after some words with dear
Aunt
Mary,
Eb
D
thought the time had come to
Gm
Eb
make a round.
Bb
D
He lined up all the older girls
F
Bb
in one of the local sheds,
Eb
D
but while he was reviling them and
F
Bb
tearing himself to shreds,
Eb
they took their mother -hubbards off
D
Gm
and tied them around their heads.
Uncle
F
Bb
F
Harry's not a missionary now.
Poor
Uncle
Bb
Harry, after some tears from dear
Aunt
Mary,
Eb
D
Eb
called upon the chiefs for a pow -wow.
Bb
Eb
Bb
They didn't brandish knives at him,
F
Bb
they really were awfully sweet.
Eb
D
They made concerted di ves at
Bb
F
Bb
him and offered him things to eat.
Eb
But when they threw their wives at him,
Bb
Harry's not a missionary now.
He's awfully happy,
C
F
Bb
Eb
Bb
but he's certainly not a missionary now.
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