True confessions,
I don't want to live this life
with you
True confessions,
boy I wish that you would only
tell the truth
Who is it? It's me, Lou.
Open up. Oh, darn.
I'm glad you came over, man.
What's the matter?
Lisa's on the warpath again?
Yeah, man, Lisa's bugging.
She's been yelling and screaming all day.
And throwing glass at me.
Yo, watch it! Oh, shit.
Now, Lisa, put down that glass.
I'm sick and tired of you lying
to me all the time.
Lisa, Lisa, come on now.
Calm down.
Lisa, what are you doing
with those two knives?
I'm sharpening them.
Because I'm going to turn his bow legs
into knoll legs.
Then after I cut his legs off,
I'm gonna cut off his
Stop, Lisa.
Hold up for a second.
Yo, bro.
I think she wants to kill you.
I know, man.
That's why I called you over, Doc.
I mean, you are my best friend,
and you can talk to Lisa
because she really likes you.
Oh, really?
Yeah, man.
She tells me that all the time.
She says sometimes she wishes she
would've married you instead of me.
But I know she only says that
when she's mad at me.
Okay, I'll talk to her.
You just wait outside in the backyard.
Hey, Lisa, baby.
What's the matter?
Doc, all it's done is cause
me heartache.
Look, here, feel my heart.
Wow.
Well, I got some advice,
because Lou's my best friend.
But he's no good for you.
He really sucks.
He lies to you.
He messes with girls around your back.
He's full of shit.
In fact, you should call your lawyer
and get a divorce.
You think I should call now?
Yeah.
In fact, I remember your lawyer's name.
His name is Blair Underwood.
Lisa, listen.
It's a jungle out there.
I don't want to live
this life with you
True confessions
Boy I wish that you would
only tell the truth
Hello, Lawyers Incorporated,
Blair Underwood speaking
Hello, Vlad, this is Lisa.
Hey, Lisa, what's going on?
What can I do for you today?
Oh, listen, listen,
I want a divorce from Lou.
This marriage is just not going to work.
Oh, for real?
Yeah, for real.
OK, well, listen, listen, listen, listen.
Uh, I don't want you to give up, all right?
I don't know how you and
Lou feel about each other.
I just want you to,
uh, maybe I can come over there
and try to talk to both of y
and smooth everything out.
Oh, well, wait a minute, OK?
All right. Hey, Doc!
Come here, come here.
Vlad said he can come over
and smooth things out.
You said what?
Let me talk to him.
Yo, what's up, man?
It's Doc. What's going on? It's you.
Hey, yo, I want you to rep resent Lisa
in her divorce. It's over,
man. Lou is no good.
He's been cheating and
lying to Lisa for years.
But, Doc, check it out.
I know Lou. I could wait.
I gave you two Gs to do this.
Hey, Lou is kind of a dog.
Yeah, okay, all right.
You do this. All right,
let me talk to Lisa back on the
All right, hold on.
Hello, Doc.
Yeah, now listen,
are you sure you want to go
through with this?
Yeah, I'm sure.
Alright, hold up.
You should be getting those
divorce papers
through your fax machine
right about now.
Oh, oh here they are.
You got it?
Thanks Blair, I'll talk to later.
Alright, well check it out , check it out.
Lisa, you know what, hold up.
Since you're getting this divorce balloon
right now, you know,
maybe you and I can do this stuff in a long time.
Maybe you and I can hook
up and do this thing.
Bye Blair.
No, Lisa! Lisa!
Damn.
Boy, am I glad it's over,
because Lou's a dog.
Woof, woof, woof.
No, he's not a dog, baby.
He's a cow. Hey, Lisa,
I'm glad you're getting rid of Lou,
because I am the right man for you.
I'll treat you right.
Well, I've always liked you, too,
Doc. Good. Let's tell Lou. Yo, Lou!
Well, is everything cool now?
Sure. Lisa's divorcing you.
What? Bye -bye. That's
right. Get out of here.
Wait a minute.
Bye, Lou. Bye. I love you, Lisa.
Let's get married.
When? Right now.
Hey, I got a minister right in the closet.
Hey, min ister!
Good evening, children.
My name is Minister Clark.
And we are gathered here
to get you two married.
It will only just take a little time.
Time's up.
I now pronounce you man and wife.
Now you can commence walking at your...
No! Wow. Man and wife.
Hey Lisa, I love you.
I love you too, Doc.
I really love you, Lisa.
I love you too, baby.
Hey Lisa. What? I love you.
I love you too. Hey Doc,
I bet you I could say I love you
before the record fades.
I love you.
Wait a minute, this is my album.
I love you.
Yo, this has been a long, hardcore,
worked -upon album
and me and my producers Full Force, especially like,
be like a brother to me, Be Fine, we've been busting ass
to put this album together
and it's coming straight to you
from the debinair Dr. Ice.
It's called The Mike Stalker
and I'd like to dedicate this album
to Be Fine of Full Force.
See ya, you sick mother fucker.
