Tom: Eb major
Verse 1
Dm
D
J. Miller, TJ Miller T -T
C
D
Dm
C
-T -T -T
D
I'm like Pepsi, I'm always second best
Like Melissa Etheridge,
I'm usually in a vest
I'm like Home Depot, if I can't flow
There's Hispanics out front, ready to go
I'm like Southwest,
you're free to move around
But the only place I'm going is D -Town
I'm like Mr. Clean,
I appear out of nowhere
Jeffertan but downtown, subtle, no hair
I'm like FEMA, I always come late
I'm like Puerto Rico,
I'm not really a state
Dm
I'm like Don ald Duck,
you can't understand a word
I'm dangerous and friendly to kids,
C
call me Notorious B .I .G., bird
Dm
D
I'm like Maury Povich,
Dm
I make a living off exploitation
Dm
sometimes I mix myself up with Haitians
Dm
I'm the scum of the earth
D
I'm like my mom's friend,
Allison Golanski
When I have dinner parties,
I don't invite me
Dm
I'm like Dave Matthews,
Dm
I'm like Cricket, y 'all,
D
I don't quite understand the rules
Dm
I'm like an over -weighted vice columnist,
hunter, director of photography
D
Dm
C
D
I shot Deer Flabby
It's a documentary,
actually won best picture of fun
Dm
dance in South by Northeast
D
Dm
C
We spin it to candy, spin it in K
Dm
I'm like a claw machine,
I'm like all that's evil and not real,
D
I'm like a clown without makeup,
D
C
Dm
I'm like a Scrabble dictionary,
But with the great vocabulary
I'm confusing like when a girl
named Mary gets married.
Dm
I'm like Gary Coleman.
It didn't end up so great
I'm like pornography.
get you turned off.
I'm like a creepy doctor
They'll turn your head when
you cough.
I'm like a butterface
because I have margarine on my face
I'm like China in a bull shop.
I'm still out of place.
I'm like cryogenics
No one really knows exactly
what I am
or if it extends one's own life
It's probably just science fiction
Dm
to help people stave off their fear of mortality,
Dsus4
Dm
C
you know I'm like that
D
I'm like Kremlin hard button,
Dm
no one's ever heard of me
D
I'm an annoying phenomenon
Dm
D
I'm like Glee, I'm like L .A.
Dm
Cause I take my time to crush a soul
D
Dm
I'm like New York City, I'm already full
except I'm a crook
Like a blind person with audiotapes
I don't do it by the book!
Dm
I'm like King Kong, cause I sweat a lot
I mean nobody ever talks about it,
but he probably sweats a lot
I'm like Q -Tip,
I didn't make it fuckin' round for real
D
But yo, technically, I'm not made of steel
Dm
D
I'm mostly water, I'm mostly water
Did you know the human body
is almost 97 % water?
Dm
I mean, it's like, entirely water
C
Dm
I'm like Cali Swag,
I'm a one -hit wonder
I'm like a cold hit without
D
I'm like glasses, since July
Dm
I've been out of fashion
I'm the last intellectual bastion
I'm like Elvis Presley,
cause I stole that shit
I'm like Charlie Parker,
cause I'm that bird shit
Dm
Yo, Griffin's in my blood,
and it's not about to clot
Improvised like the sun,
all important and fuckin' hot
I'm like a flasher in the cold,
I always wear two coats
D
I'm like Angela Lansbury,
Dm
I wrote Murder, She Wrote
I'm like Mrs. Doubtfire,
I look good in a wig
D
I'm like that farmer from Bay,
that'll do, pig
That'll do, pig, that'll do, pig
That'll do, pig, that'll do, pig
Dm
D
Dsus4
D
Oh boy!
Dm
C
D
That's G -Dragon
That'll do
D
D
Oh boy! That'll do,
D
Oh boy! Bye!
D
Dm
Dsus4
D
C
D
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