Tom: Ab major
Verse 1
Gm
If there's one thing I can't bear it's
when hundreds of old men
come creeping in through the
G
window
Gm
in the middle of the night
and throw all manner of garbage
all over me.
I think that's unbearable.
Ghastly old men with great
pails of garbage
throwing it all over me.
I don't think it should be allowed.
Gm
I think there should be a place
for those people to go.
G
I don't think it should be my room.
C
I'd vote for any party that would say
G
I won't allow people to throw garbage all over me,
but none of the parties
seem to be particularly interested.
That's why I formed the World
the World Domination League.
D
The aims, as published in the Manifesto,
of the world by 1958.
That's what we're planning to
do.
We've had to revise it.
We're hoping to bring a
new Manifesto out
C
G
with a more realistic target.
How we aim to go about
it is as follows.
We shall move about into people's rooms
and say, Excuse me.
We are the World Domination League.
May we dominate you?
Then if they say get out,
of course we give up.
There's been some wonderful...
Well, you have to give up
once you've been told to get out.
There's been some wonderful
dominators
He was a wonderful dominator.
Attila the Nun.
He was an amazing dominator,
he had a gothic horde you know,
a wonderful gothic horde
and he used to move about entire
countries
and strangle people completely
to death.
And then when everybody woke up
they'd see a little note
pinned to their chest
saying you've been dominated,
ha ha, Attila the Nun.
Hitler was a very peculiar
person wasn't he,
he was another dominator
Am
G
you know Hitler an d he was a wonderful
wonderful ballroom dancer,
not many people know
that he was a wonderful little dancer
used to waltz around
with the number eight on his
back.
The only trouble was he was
very short
and people used to shout out
to him
C
when he was dancing and say,
G
the courts do best how short you are.
And this of course enraged Hitler.
He flew into a tantrum
and he gave up ballroom dancing
and took up wholesale raping
and pillaging.
LAUGHTER
Of course, Mrs Hitler
was a charming woman,
wasn't she?
LAUGHTER
Mrs Hitler, a lovely woman,
she's still alive, you know.
I, er, I saw her down the
Edgware Road.
LAUGHTER
She'd just popped into the chemist
to buy something
and I saw her sign the cheque,
Mrs Hitler.
So I knew it was she.
I tried to go up and talk to her,
but she slipped away
into the crowd.
I was hoping she'd be able to come
to the next meeting
Am
of the World Domination League.
I've had a new manifesto printed,
which should boost our programme
a bit.
There's a picture of me on the cover
with the words,
I will dominate you, at the top of it.
It's a very compelling picture
and I think there's a good chance
F#m
of my doing a bit of dominating soon.
wonderful ideas
for getting the dominating going.
F
I've got some extremely subtle advertising
F#m
that should get the public behind us.
F#
G
Things like,
Vote for E .L. Whistie
and lovely nude ladies
will come and dance with you.
LAUGHTER
It's a complete lie, of course,
but you can't afford to be too scrupulous
if you're going to dominate the
world.
Then there's another good one which says,
If you don't vote for E .L. Whistie,
horrible black spiders
with hairy legs
C
will creep into your room
in the middle of the night and bite
That should get the women's vote.
If there's one thing they can't bear,
it's black spiders grabbing hold of them
in the night.
C
Another way I'm going to get
is to start shouting off about
all the filth on television.
As far as I'm concerned,
I could do with a great deal more of it.
But all the same,
I've formed an E .L. Whistey clean -up TV campaign
F#
pointing out some of the suggestive things
that get on the air.
G
F#
The first thing I say, Lezhaban,
G
Eb
is that Invisible Man show.
G
Have you seen it?
It's absolutely disgusting.
It's all about this
man who's turned invisible
because he fell into a vat of liquid
HLB05.
That was an experimental magic
ingredient in a detergent.
Anyway, the poor devil falls in this rubbish
and he turns invisible.
G
and the programme is all about his amazing
adventures.
As he's invisible,
the only way you can tell where he is
is if he's smoking.
You can see the cigarette
moving about in the air,
G
or else you can see a telephone waving about
It's all very ingenious,
F#
but the thing that amazes me
is that he does it all in the nude.
You don't actually see him,
of course,
because he's invisible,
but you can easily tell he's got
nothing on
because otherwise you'd see his
clothes.
Sometimes he dresses up in bandages,
poor devil, and dark glasses.
You could see his outline,
but you never see any
trousers or jackets
moving about the place.
So it stands to reason
he's wandering about
the place with nothing on.
A ghastly, invisible nudist.
There for everyone to see,
or rather not to see.
And for all we know,
there may be millions of other
invisible nudists
in the other programs.
I might be able to use them
in the World Domination League,
it'd be a very good slogan,
vote for E .L. Whistie
or else invisible nudists
will come along
and smash you round the face.
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