Tom: E major
Verse 1
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The Popstar Massage Unit.
It's a dildo is what it is.
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Popstar dildo is what it is.
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like a reg ular dildo.
You put the two batteries up in there.
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Makes it do a little love ball number.
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But the top, the top clips onto it
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With the size and proportions
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of the rock star of your choice
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I mean think of it
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The possibilities are unlimited
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And we have them in all
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from the little emaciated shriveled up
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white John Denver model
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Of course, a big reissue this year
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is our large, dark,
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transparent Jimi Hendrix model.
But Alan Douglas has
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the copyrights to that.
The cool thing is, see...
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Well, see, okay, let's say you went out
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and you wanted to get, oh,
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the Mick Jagger dildo.
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Right? A perennial favorite.
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It's our medium Caucasian.
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You unfold this giant picture of Mick,
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see?
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And you clip on the top
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of this little dildo, see?
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But then there's this little slot.
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And in this little slot goes
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the cassette.
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Get the picture.
Giant glossy of mint
taped to your ceiling.
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Clip on the head, slip in the cassette,
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and Mick sings Jumpin' Jack Flash
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between your legs, ladies and gentlemen.
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I was born in a crockpot world party
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In a house of diamonds, and pines
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Buddy Gold, butter, butter
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Gold, butter
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Gold, butter
Gold, you're thinking, well,
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maybe I'm looking for something a little more macho.
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This year, one of the biggies
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has been the George Harrison.
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They come in two kinds.
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There's the normal white,
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and there's one that's
with a little dot in the middle.
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for all you spiritualists out there.
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Wait a minute, George!
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George! George, wait a minute.
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Your voice is going, George, it's gone,
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Even Krishna can't help you now.
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It's all over, George.
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Take it, Billy!
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Billy always just seemed to
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walk it and save it.
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So you see, it's not so
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important what you in vent.
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It's just a story.
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It's just so when someone approaches you
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on the street and goes, are you kidding?
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Are you saying, you saying no, man?
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I know people always ask me.
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When they ask me,
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have to tell them, and I tell them,
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where can I go in Argentina?
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And where can I go in L .A.?
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And where can I go in Honolulu?
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I need the knits, the double knits.
They are the fits.
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I need the knits, the double knits.
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I'm coming over shortly
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because I have a portly.
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You promised you could fit me
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in a 50 suit.
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What? Abby, are you kidding?
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No, no!
Abby, are you kidding?
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No, no!
Abby, are you kidding?
Abby, are you kidding me?
Abby, are you kidding me?
Abby, are you kidding me?
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