Tom: G major•
Verse 1
G
C
Folks, this life is tough
G
We both suffer such abuses
C
G
Girls phoning day and night
Dm
G
I've run out of excuses
We're not bragging,
Am
we're complaining
We know we're not
D
good looking
the reason
Who's got all the charm?
Durante and Hope
Who's got all the personality?
Hope and Durante
Who's got all the Savile Fair?
Durante and Hope
Who's got all the money?
Ab
Crosby
G
Honest, this is not just a lot of noise
D
We wish there was something
G
we could do for other boys
No wonder fellas in this town
Am
Walk around with a great big frown
the boys with the proboscis
Dm
They beg for dates with
G
all the chicks
But we have to beat
them off with sticks
Am
No one liked the boys with the proboscis
Bb
Dm
That's what we found
And my nose turns down
We get an awful problem
Every time we get too close we lock
bumpers
Am
You'd think this life would make us smile,
but it gets boring after a while.
C
F
blame us if we sit around and mope.
G
Dm
C
Now analyze our assets
G
chassis.
I've got so much more than Gregory.
I've got so much more than Lassie.
So if you've got a sweetie
and you plan to elope,
D
G
beware of the boys of the preposterous.
C
G
Ah, Jim, my nose has never
been any handicap
when it comes to girls.
Why, in one night,
I once went out with five girls.
So what? In one night,
I once went out with ten girls.
Well, on my dresser,
I've got pictures
of twenty beautiful girls.
On my dresser,
I've got pictures
of forty beautiful girls.
Uh -huh.
Well, I've been proposed to by fifty girls.
But I've been proposed to
by a hundred girls.
Well? Oh, no, you don't.
This time, you go first.
G
So, if you've got a sweetie and
you plan to elope,
Am
D
G
beware of the boys with the proboscis.
Yes, sir.
G
Beware of the boys with the proboscis.
Yes,
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