Tom: Ab major•
Verse 1
Ab
Db
I like watching the TV, I tell you what.
Ab
I like watching the TV.
You ever see the Biggest Loser?
Cm
That's got to be the dumbest
Ab
Good Lord, I want to see fat people
struggle with their weight.
Db
I go to my family reunion for
Ab
God's sake.
Them reality shows piss me off.
Db
They're not even real.
That's not reality what they
got.
Here's a good reality
show I come up with.
You take a feller
and you put him in the Ozark Mountains
for five days
and he's got to make it to his truck
with two deliverance horny hillbillies
chasing his hind end.
That's a good show.
Call that show, Squeal or No Squeal.
All right,
that's what you call it.
That's a good show right there.
That's a good show.
Ab
Y 'all like watch, I ren ted Meet
the Fockers the other day.
Lord, Barbara Streisand's
in that.
What the hell?
I want my fucking money back.
Alright. That's good, there.
I like that movie they had,
Amityville Horror.
They had four of them.
You'd think people quit moving into that house
after a while.
Boy, that salesman,
he's pretty damn good to resell
that house.
Jesus Christ. Satan talks through
the walls.
Db
He's still got people buying
that damn house.
Ab
They walk in, I am Satan,
F
I will take your soul to hell.
Ab
And it's got these nice kitchen drawers here,
and it's got,
I don't care if the house is polite,
I'm getting my ass out of the
house, all right?
I don't care if I walk in and the house goes,
hey Larry, you look good, you losing weight?
I was going to take my nephews
Ab
a while back, but after the Brokeback Mountain,
I didn't know how curious
Cb
Db
Ab
that fellow was going to get in there.
I ain't paying to see
bi -curious George.
Brokeback Mountain,
gay cowboys, what the hell?
Gb
If John Wayne was alive today,
Ab
he'd have a patch
Ab
over both eyes.
I think it's funny though, they named them
two characters in there,
Enos and Jack.
Enos and Jack.
Ab
Alright, we get it. They're gay.
Alright. Enos and Jack.
If you think we're that stupid,
why didn't you just name them
Brownie and Pounder for God's sake?
You
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