Now, our hometown's
a little old town,
and never much going on.
Well, I've seen the whole town turn out
just to listen to an organ grinder song.
But a bunch of us rotten old boys
that ride motorcycles
started spreading the rumor around
that it would really be funny
to see old Slow John Fairburn
take a motorcycle ride around town.
Now Slow John's oh
I guess 70 years old
and plays checkers down on the square
and I've never seen him do anything
faster than a walk
and at times he'll slow that down a hair.
So we went around collecting some money
and came up with a hundred dollar bill
And we let it be known
that come Saturday
would be Slow John's show and tell.
Well, Saturday rolled around
and it was kind of hot,
but it looked like the whole town came,
and they all gathered
around old Pete Jones
and Slow John's checker game.
We came roaring up on those motorcycles
an d the motor revving up loud,
And we plopped our money
down on the checker table
an d a snicker kind of went
through the crowd
Slow John looked at the crowd
and then he looked at the money,
and I don't think he got uptight
an d Pete Jones says well John
it looks like it's your move
an d old John says you know what
I think you're right
Well, he hitched up his britches,
and he spit in his hands
and Said could I borrow your
bike for a while?
And he said, by the way,
would you women and children
kind of stand back?
And I swear I saw him smile.
He said, okay, boys,
I need me something wet.
And he downed the beer.
And he picked up a flower
from a nearby shrub,
and he stuck it behind his ear.
Well, he kicked down on that
motorcycle starter
and that motor kicked into a roar,
and he showered down Haas
and he laid a strip of rubber
all the way to the grocery store.
Women were screaming
and dogs started barking,
the kids were getting a thrill,
cause he made Evel Knievel look
like he needed training wheels.
He popped himself a wheelie
across that courthouse lawn,
and he roared right up
the front stairs.
An old lady stobs up at the highway department,
fainted,
and fell right across the chair.
Well John picked up his money
and he said with a grin,
enjoyed the ride boys, thanks a lot.
And old Pete laughed and said,
boys, I could have told you,
but I think you needed a lesson or two,
because you see, Slow John Fairbairn
was motorcycle champ
in 30, 31, and 32.