Tom: G# minor
Verse 1
E
F#m
G
A
D
Oh god,
the fucking weather
is so intensely madly gorgeous outside.
B
Ever notice how certain kinds
D
of weather
make you want to fuck?
Of course you did, but you never noticed
how different kinds of weather
evoke different types of sexual desire.
E
D
Like for instance, early fall.
Let's fuck in a pile of leaves,
like we did when we were kids.
School is starting,
let's fuck behind the school.
Spank my disobedient ass
with your slide ruler.
Rub that eraser in my face
and shoot your white out
all over my face.
Put me in your three -ring binder.
Mid -fall.
This Halloween,
let's dress down
as gently conjoined twins
who speak a secret twin language
of moans and grunts.
E
Em
E
You drool, I'll weep.
Oh, experience grounded in discreet
Em
D
individuated perspectives.
E
It's as fleeting as the ecstatic,
D
convulsive ballet of muscles pushing and pulsing ejaculate from my swollen member.
Early winter.
Let's fuck in front of the fire.
Let's make fuck cider
and double twice
fuck under the comforter
so no one hears the
jarring bedlam
D
as we mash naughties into sin.
Midwinter.
Let's go to Esalen and get naked
and troll around the hot
tubs and steam baths
and see what anonymous taunter
wants to be found
Em
G
and have its brown crown unbound and ground into
D
the haunting sound of down, down, down.
Late winter.
Get off me!
Jesus Christ, I have the flu!
Does this Vicks Vaporub
and steamer say fuck me to you?
Does this landscape of snot
-filled Kleenex
seem like an invitation
to have your disgusting lecherous
mug all up in my grill?
Get me some lemon tea
and throw a log on the fire
and I don't want to see your dick again
until my temperature drops below
a hundred.
early spring let's make a baby
let's bring life into the world
let's combine and redefine
oh god let's make babies
I'm gonna look into your eyes
this time okay one eye
I can't look into both
E
your eyes at once it freaks me out
D
would you mind closing one eye
how about an eye patch
let's let's pirate fuck some new life
into this world
our media loves you mid spring
fresh air aphrodisiac
I mean
When you're already pregnant,
let's keep doing it.
Let's echo conception
while birth control is free
and effective.
Nothing more effective at preventing
pregnancy
than pre -existing impregnation.
Late spring.
Oh God,
I fucked you so hard it killed the baby.
I am sorry.
But according to most
spiritual traditions,
the soul doesn't actually
attach to the body
until after five months, so be cool.
We'll make another one with
a stronger skull.
Em
D
Early summer.
You look good in shorts.
I love the way those shorts show
off your knees.
Okay ass. Okay camel toe.
But you look good.
I like the way that wife
beater hugs your ribs.
Okay tits.
Mid -summer.
Are you hot?
I'm hot.
Let's take off our clothes.
Let's dip some sponges in ice water
Em
D
an d measure the tensile response
of exoskeletal soft tissue.
Let's fuck and sweat until we're
Em
both drenched beyond concern
and then jump into a lake.
D
Remember that scene in Blue Lagoon
where they have anal sex
on the picnic table
at a public park?
Me neither, but here it is.
Late summer.
Em
D
I love you.
Let's go camping.
Em
D
My bad. I only brought one sleeping bag.
Em
D
My bad, I only got one pillow.
D
Hey, forgot my underwear.
I know, I know you're
Em
saving yourself for marriage.
I respect that.
Em
Hey, you know how some
Em
people are sleepwalkers?
I'm a bit of a sleep thruster.
Penetrator.
It's a medical condition I struggle
with.
D
But anyway, sure is horny
Em
C
out tonight.
B
E
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