Now,
before I begin the lesson, will those
of you who are playing in the match this afternoon
move your clothes down onto
the lower peg immediately after lunch.
Before you write
your letter home, if you're not getting your hair
cut, unless you've got a younger brother
who's going out this weekend as the guest of another boy,
in which case collect his
note before lunch, put it in your letter after
you've had your haircut, and make
sure he moves your clothes down onto the
lower peg for you. now. sir. yes
Weimer. my
younger brother's go
ing out with
Dibble this weekend sir but I'm not
having my
haircut today sir so do I move my
clothes I do wish you'd listen
Weimer. it's
perfectly simple. if you're not getting your haircut
you don't have to move your
brother's clothes down to the lower peg.
you simply collect his note before lunch
After you've done your scripture prep, when you've written
your letter home before rest,
move your own clothes onto the lower peg,
greet the visitors,
and report to
Mr.
Viney that you've had your chit signed.
Now, sex.
Sex, sex.
Where were we?
Well, had I got as far as the penis
entering the vagina?
No,
No, sir.
No, sir.
Well, had I done foreplay?
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
ah well as we all know all about foreplay no
doubt you can tell me what
the purpose of a foreplay is.
pigs. no sorry sir.
Carter! ah was it taking your clothes off sir?
and after that?
putting them on a lower peg sir. purpose of
foreplay is to cause the vagina to
lubricate so that the penis can penetrate
more easily. can we have a
window up please sir. yes
Harris will do. and of course to cause the
band's penis
to erect and ha! then now did I do vaginal
juices last week? oh do pay
attention
Wadsworth! I know it's
Friday after... oh watching
the football are you
boy? right move over there. I'm warning you
I may decide to set an exam this term.
Oh, sir.
So just listen.
Now, did I or did I not do
vaginal juices?
Yes, sir.
Name two ways of getting
them flowing,
Watson.
Rubbing the clitoris,
What's wrong with a kiss boy?
Why not start her off with a nice kiss?
You don't have to go leaping straight for the
clitoris like a bull at a gate.
Give her a kiss, boy.
Suck the nipples,
Good, good, well done, line them up.
Striking the thighs, sir.
Yes, yes, I suppose so.
Marching the neck.
Yes, good, nibbling the elbow,
kneading the buttocks and so on and so forth.
So, we have all these possibilities before
we stampede towards the clitoris,
Watson.
Yes, sir.
Sorry, sir.
Now, all these forms of stimulation
can now take place.
And of course, tonguing will give you the best
idea of how the juices are coming along.
Now, penetration and coitus,
that is to say, intercourse up to and including orgasm.
Ah, hello, dear.
Do stand up.
My wife enters the room,
Carter.
Oh, sorry, sir.
Sorry.
Wyver, this is for your benefit.
Will you kindly wake up?
I've no intention of going
through this all again.
We'll take the foreplay as
read, if you don't mind.
No, of course not,
Hamlet.
So, the man starts by entering or mounting
his good lady wife in the standard way.
The penis is now, as you will observe,
more or less fully erect.
There we are.
Ah, that's better.
Now,
Carter.
Yes, sir?
What is it?
It's an ocarina, sir.
Bring it up here.
The man now starts making
thrusting movements with his pelvic area,
moving the penis up and
down inside the vagina.
So put it there, boy.
Put it there on the table.
while the wife maximises her clitoral stimulation by the
shaft of the penis by pushing forward.
Thank you, dear.
Now, as the sexual
excitement mounts...
What's funny,
Biggs?
Oh, nothing, sir.
Oh, do please share your little joke with the
rest of us.
I mean, obviously something frightfully
funny is going on.
No, honestly, sir.
Well, as it's so funny,
I think you'd better be selected
to play for the boys' team
in the rugby match against the
Masters.
Oh, no, sir.
Oh
Monty Python 
