Tom: F major
Verse 1
D
Willie, I hope I'm not being too personal,
but you seem resigned to a life of abject squalor.
My family's used to it.
Me grandfather used to get sent down into the
mines to make sure it was safe for the canaries.
Don't you ever hope for
anything better?
Something better for
Willie?
Asus4
D
Asus4
D
All I want is a place somewhere.
And?
That's it.
Maybe you could aim a little higher.
Well, let's see.
Asus4
D
Oh, to have me shock rebuilt.
Asus4
D
Asus4
D
Get my rot ten teeth all drilled.
G
Bb
D
Bm
Something on un derneath me gilts.
E
Asus4
Bm
Oh, wouldn't it be ad
Em
Asus4
equate?
D
Asus4
D
Asus4
A
Matching shoes for both me feet.
D
Asus4
D
Dining on untainted meat.
G
Bb
Gm
D
Bm
A toilet, what still has its seat?
E
Asus4
A
D
Oh, wouldn't it be adequate?
A
Asus4
Em
Asus4
A
Adequate!
D
Bm
D
Adequate!
Asus4
A
D
Wouldn't it be adequate?
You're right,
Lisa. I do want to better me lot.
To live like a normal...
Hey, that's great.
Goodnight.
All right, let's just try one
more lesson.
Repeat after me.
G
What flows from the nose does
not go on the clothes.
Oh, it's no use.
I'm not very cultured.
I don't even have
D
a last name.
Care to concede that bet?
No.
Come on,
Willie.
D
I believe in you.
What flows from the nose
B
does not go on my clothes.
G
D
What flows from the nose does
Em
Asus4
D
not go on my clothes.
I think he's got it.
Asus4
Oh yes, he's got it.
D
What flows from the nose does
Em
A
D
not go on my clothes.
Em
Asus4
D
G
C#
F#
Where is that ghastly foe?
Bm
Em
Asus4
D
The nose, the nose.
G
C#
Cdim
And where should it not go?
B
Em
Asus4
D
Blue pants, blue pants.
D
Fine.
F#
I'm getting blue pants in
A
the morning.
Ding dong, the zipper's
D
G
A
D
gonna shine.
If you ask me, the
Royal
Shakespeare
Company's latest season
was much ado about nothing.
Ha! I get that reference.
And you can get me anytime
you want, handsome.
I would be delighted to dine
with you on the 12th.
You're a smash,
G .K.
It feels so sublime. I feel like
I...
C#
F#
Could be indoors all night,
B
could use a fork and knife, and never soil my suit.
C#
G#m
C#
G#m
I could be so polite, start not a single fight,
C#
G#m
C#
F#
and still not feel like a fruit.
A#
C
E#
A#
How very nice that there's no lice in my hair,
Db
Bbm
Eb
Ab
Abm
B
Db
and my toe nails I don't bite.
Dbsus4
Db
B
Db
Gb
Bbm
Gb
Now that I've reached the stage where I'm not full of rage,
Eb
Ab
B
C#
A#
C#
B
F#
B
I could be indoors, indoors
F#
F#
G
Gm
F#
Em
D
all night!
Hey,
Maitre
D!
May I help you, sir?
These rolls are stale!
Bombardment!
Bring me some more!
Bombardment!
And, uh, some iced tea for the lady,
please.
G
Cm
Dsus4
Bombardment!
D
G
Em
Am
I've a fancy suit and a clean white shirt,
D
G
but I miss the days when tractor fumes blew
Am
C
Am
Adim
I was freezing cold,
Cm
G
and I slept in mold,
Em
A
D
But I longed for the shack where
G
Abdim
Am
I lived.
D
G
Em
Am
She was true to me, mild home of wood,
D
G
And when I passed out
drunk from turpentine,
C
Am
Adim
She un derstood life was so sublime.
D
G
A
Well, boo -hoo, cause I'm hanging ferns
D
G
C
G
in the shack where you live.
D
Asus4
D
Asus4
D
Asus4
D
G
Gm
Asus4
D
If I had your voice, I'd toxin' everything.
Bm
E
Asus4
Bm
Em
Asus4
D
Em
Asus4
A
D
Em
B
C#
F#
A#m
F#
Edim
D#m
D#
G#
B
C#
F#
B
F#
G#m
G#dim
I'm going to do again,
F#
D#m
G#
I'm to again, I'm
C#
F#
You
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