Tom: F major
Verse 1
Bb
F
Bb
Phew! There's something
Oh! It's you
Come here and sit down
You're gonna have the truth told
F
Bb
about you and put on record
F
Bb
'Ere please don't sit too close to me,
I'm just having my breakfast
F
Bb
Thank you
Verse 2
Bb
Gm
G
C
F
Who put salt in the sugar bowl?
Bb
Gm
C
F
Who put fireworks in the coal?
Bb
Eb
Bb
Who put a real live toad in the hole?
C
Bb
My brother
Gm
Cm
F
Who put jam in mother's shoe?
Bb
Gm
C
F
Who made real caterpillars stew?
Bb
Eb
Bb
Who locked grandad in the loo?
My brother
Verse 3
Eb
D
Dm
Gm
My brother said it wasn't he
Cm
F
Bb
Who put shampoo in grandma's tea?
Eb
Bb
F
G
My brother said that it was me
C
Bb
F
My brother's rotten
Bb
Gm
C
F
Who squeezed toothpaste round the hall?
Bb
Gm
C
F
Who put soot in the baby's butts?
Bb
Eb
Who drew things on the garden wall?
Gm
Bb
My brother
Verse 4
Bb
You ought to see what he drew
Ah, what a surprise
Nobody knew what it was really
F
Bb
But everybody had a
"Down with young mothers"
that was one
F
'Cause he don't think our mum
Bb
knows how to bring us up right
F
Bb
I don't think so either
You know every night when we're wide awake,
she makes us go to bed
And in the morning when we're fast asleep,
F
Bb
she makes us get up
Verse 5
Bb
Cm
F
Whose pet mouse made auntie shriek?
Bb
Gm
C
F
Who ate glue and couldn't speak?
Bb
Eb
Bb
What clever dick was sick for a week?
Bb
Gm
Cm
F
Who keeps maggots in a tin?
Bb
Gm
C
Plays the twist on his violin
F
Bb
Eb
F
Who's been gettin' at the gin?
Verse 6
Ebm
Bb
Gm
a chimney sweep
Cm
F
Bb
But dirt they say is just skin deep
Dm
G
C
he's asleep!
Bb
But you don't know what he's
Eb
Bb
F
Bb
dreamin' about (do ya)
Gm
Who wouldn't mind if I
Verse 7
Cm
F
ride his bike?
Bb
Gm
C
F
Who lets me shot his gun if I like?
Bb
Eb
Who says I'm best at football,
Ebm
Bb
ludo, snakes and ladders?
Hide- and- seek,
Eb
B
chasin' each other up and down the garden
Bb
Pinchin' little girls up the
Well, he's gotta say I'm best
Bb
Eb
'Cause I'm bigger than he is and if he don't say I'm best at everything,
Bb
Eb
Bb
I'll bash him, haha
F
Bb
My lovely, lovely brother
Verse 8
Bb
Come on, come on mate,
let's get out of here
Before you fall down the
Come on give us your
F
Bb
hand' we're gonna wal—
'Ere what you had in your hand
'Ave ya
Woo!
F
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