Tom: F major
Verse 1
A
E
A
Phew! There's something
Oh! It's you
Come here and sit down
You're gonna have the truth told
E
A
about you and put on record
E
A
'Ere please don't sit too close to me,
I'm just having my breakfast
E
A
Thank you
Verse 2
A
F#m
F#
B
E
Who put salt in the sugar bowl?
A
F#m
B
E
Who put fireworks in the coal?
A
D
A
Who put a real live toad in the hole?
B
A
My brother
F#m
Bm
E
Who put jam in mother's shoe?
A
F#m
B
E
Who made real caterpillars stew?
A
D
A
Who locked grandad in the loo?
My brother
Verse 3
D
C#
C#m
F#m
My brother said it was n't he
Bm
E
A
Who put shampoo in grandma's tea?
D
A
E
F#
My brother said that it was me
B
A
E
My brother's rotten
A
F#m
B
E
Who squeezed toothpaste round the hall?
A
F#m
B
E
Who put soot in the baby's butts?
A
D
Who drew things on the garden wall?
F#m
A
My brother
Verse 4
A
You ought to see what he drew
Ah, what a surprise
Nobody knew what it was really
E
A
But everybody had a
"Down with young mothers"
that was one
E
'Cause he don't think our mum
A
knows how to bring us up right
E
A
I don't think so either
You know every night when we're wide awake,
she makes us go to bed
And in the morning when we're fast asleep,
E
A
she makes us get up
Verse 5
A
Bm
E
Whose pet mouse made auntie shriek?
A
F#m
B
E
Who ate glue and couldn't speak?
A
D
A
What clever dick was sick for a week?
A
F#m
Bm
E
Who keeps maggots in a tin?
A
F#m
B
Plays the twist on his violin
E
A
D
E
Who's been gettin' at the gin?
Verse 6
Dm
A
F#m
a chimney sweep
Bm
E
A
But dirt they say is just skin deep
C#m
F#
B
he's asleep!
A
But you don't know what he's
D
A
E
A
dreamin' about (do ya)
F#m
Who wouldn't mind if I
Verse 7
Bm
E
ride his bike?
A
F#m
B
E
Who lets me shot his gun if I like?
A
D
Who says I'm best at football,
Dm
A
ludo, snakes and ladders?
Hide- and- seek,
D
Bb
chasin' each other up and down the garden
A
Pinchin' little girls up the
Well, he's gotta say I'm best
A
D
'Cause I'm bigger than he is and if he don't say I'm best at everything,
A
D
A
I'll bash him, haha
E
A
My lovely, lovely brother
Verse 8
let's get out of here
Before you fall down the
Come on give us your
E
A
hand' we're gonna wal—
'Ere what you had in your hand
'Ave ya
Woo!
E
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