Tom: D major
Verse 1
D
If the folks next door to
me weren't so good
I'd do all the mean things
C
D
anybody could
I'd drink and I'd gamble
C
D
and I'd louse around
F
D
I'd be the meanest man in
this whole town
F
D
Dm
Verse 2
D
F
D
If I hadn't seen the light in
that old lady's eyes
I'd try to be a man you
would hate and despise
I'd rave and I'd rant and
I'd scream and yell
F
D
And I'd chase my neighbors
from here to hell
Verse 3
F
E
If I hadn't heard those kids
F
E
D
Dm
I'd have nervous fits, I'd go insane
D
F
E
F
D
I'd turpentine cats and tin can dogs
E
D
I'd smother people to death inside
Interlude 1
of hollow logs
C
D
F
Dm
D
Dm
Verse 4
people around me wasn't so nice
I'd freeze my heart into a cake of ice
C
D
Steal money from soldiers
C
D
and working folks too
F
D
I'd lend you a dollar and
take back two
F
D
Verse 5
Dm
D
If my wife didn't kiss me
C
D
the way she does
I'd carry four or five daggers
and three or four guns
I'd shoot craps and ramble
and hang out late
F
D
I'd steal baby buggies
Verse 6
F
E
If my friends didn't write
Am
D
me those letters I get
F
E
Am
D
I'd be a dictator, the worse one yet
F
E
I'd be the only smart bird,
Send you all away to war and I'd stay home and
Dm
rule
Interlude 2
F
D
C
D
Dm
D
C
D
C
D
Dm
D
Verse 7
D
If it wasn't for them songs
I hear you all sing
I'd put a crown on my dome
C
D
and I'd say I'm your king
F
D
I'd kidnap some and blackmail others
F
D
I'd peddle black market stuff
and rob sisters and brothers
Verse 8
F
E
weren't for your talking
F
E
I'd be the orneriest man
F
E
I'd preach the gospel of hate
C
D
and I'd drink your blood
F
D
But I can't be this bad because
my folks are too good
F
D
Dm
D
F
No I can't be this bad because my folks are too good
Outro 1
Dm
D
Dm
G
D
G
F
D
F
Dm
D
F
D
Dm
Dm
F
D
D
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