Tom: A major•
Verse 1
A
When Sam Small joined
the regiment,
he were nobita raw recruit,
D
A
and they marched him away
A
his musket course to shoot.
They woke him up at the crack of dawn
with many a nudge and shake.
He were dreaming that Sergeant
and he didn't want awake.
A
Lieutenant Bird came on parade
Bm
and chided the lads for mooning.
A
D
He talked in a voice like a pound of plums.
A
His tonsils needed pruning.
Move to the right by fours,
he said, crisp like,
but most severe.
But Sam didn't know he's right from his left,
E
so pretended he didn't hear.
Said Lieutenant, Sergeant,
take that man's name."
A
The sergeant took out his pencil.
He was getting ashamed
and was thinking of cutting a stencil.
Sam carried a musket,
a knapsack and coat,
managed to wangle,
In fact, as Sam said, he'd
got everything by a kitchen mangle.
Lieutenant cried,
as the musket range grew near.
"'March easy, me
blushing Aunt Fanny,'
E
said Sam.
"'What a chance with
F#m
A
When they told him to fire at five hundred yards,
A
E
for all he were likely to hit.
He had fitted a cork
in his musket end
to keep his powder dry,
and he didn't remember to take it out
A
E
the first time he let fly.
A
E
His gun went off with a kind of pop.
A
E
Where his bullet went no one knew,
of a tinker's moke
E
A
being killed by a cork near Crewe.
At three hundred yards
Sam shut his eyes
and took a careful lame.
He failed to score, but the marker swore,
E
and walked away quite lame.
At two hundred yards
D
A
Sam fired so wild
E
that the sergeant feared for his skin,
into the neighbouring field
E
A
and started to dig themselves in.
said Sam.
What can it be?
E
The noise that he heard were Lifton and Bird,
who were climbing the nearest
tree.
Oh, Sergeant, said Sam,
I've hit the bull,
A
E
what price my shooting
now?
Said the Sergeant,
A
A bull, you gormless fool,
E
yon isn't a bull, it's a cow.
A
C#m
At fifty yards his musket kicked,
A
E
and went off with a noise like a blizzard,
F#m
E
A
and down came a crow looking fair
surprised with his ram
D
E
rod through its gizzard.
A
D
As he loaded his musket to fire again
said the sergeant,
A
E
don't waste shot.
You'd best fix bayonets
and charge my lad.
A
It's the only chance you've got.
F#m
Sam kept loading his gun
Bm
C#
while the sergeant spoke
D
F#m
till the bul lets peeped
A
C#
out at the muzzle.
F#m
When all of a sudden it
What made it go off were a puzzle.
A
Bm
E
The bullets flew out in a kind of spray,
A
E
and everything round got peppered.
A
When they counted his score,
he'd got eight bullseyes,
four magpies,
A
two lambs and a shepherd.
E
F#m
And the sergeant for this got a DCM,
and the colonel an OBE.
E
A
D
Lieutenant Baird got a DSO,
E
A
and Sam got five days' C .B.
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