faded
Browned out, looking all shady
Two months since I fucked a lady
Young man dick going crazy
Standard Saturday
I'm about to get a cab and masturbate
Then I see a hot girl I bet I could date
"Lemme get your cat girl,
no Hathaway"
Thats what I thought not
what I said to her
Instead I walk up to her like
"I know you heard of the kid
You heard what I did
You heard of my shit
The murderous spit"
She's like "Naw
You're being weird
What are you talking about?"
I'm like "Aw."
Pulling out my phone like a boss
YouTube bout to get her off
But as I type the y- o- u
Some porno pop up
I'm like
"Hold up, how di- , that's not even me like,
I don't jerk off mobily."
Then her friends coming up and want
to know if everything is okay
I'm like
"Naw this a rape, can't tell? Give me a break please,
get the heck away."
I turned to her
"Let me buy you a drink."
She like "Fine."
Told the man two Patron
She like "Lime."
Said he tried twice the card got declined
I'm like
"Are, is this, could it be
a machine issue?"
He was like "Naw."
I was like
"Obviously there's something wrong
I got dough like, I'm not broke,
I got donuts with the same card like about an hour ago."
He like "Dude, I don't know."
Now I'm looking at the girl
she just wanna go
And I ain't talking bout with me,
bro. I mean alone
I got one more chance to prove
myself so I'm like-
"Look, I'm athletic,
girl. I've gotten several rec- league MVP's
At my crib I've got some pizza.
Plus a little bit of weed
In my room I've got a TV.
Plus I recently did sheets
Girl, I even have a fridge that has the water
on the door like with the crushed ice"
You know I don't
give a damn
whatcha playin' right now
This is me coming at you as
a man right now
Lemme freak
Lemme freak, god dammit, lemme freak
Just lemme freak, please god
Just lemme freak
The girl from the first verse
Somehow let me fuck
Fast forward, seven months
We in love
Some real serious relationship-
type shit
Despite this I ain't fucked for days
Tried last night but was pushed away
But I've been acting well behaved today,
I smell okay
Adele Pandora's playing,
now she laying
On the floor and I'm praying
this bitch is horny
I go and give her a smooch
She kissing Dicky back,
so I play with her boobs
Bad move, she don't like that
Bad mood, her boss being mean to her
Via email, she wanna write back
I'm like "Right now?"
She like "Yeah, what do I say,
can you just help me?"
"Ok, whats the context?"
Then she like "Well,
he talks to Jane before coming to me."
"Who's Jane again?" I said
She like "Wow, you should know that."
"Ok, I guess I forgot."
She like "Dude, that's my other boss."
"Ok, true, so shouldn't your first boss go to
the other boss before you? Right?"
"But Jane isn't hands on!" she yelled
"Ok, well I just don't understand the dynamic then,
I don't work with these people."
She started crying
"Wait stop, what the fuck is this?"
"Naw, you don't ever take my side!"
About an hour later til'
I'm on her good side
We in bed, hands on her good thighs
I try to kiss, she like "Good night."
But I'm like-
"Look, I just turned off The De
parted for a movie about a bee
I've been cutting back on farting, tweeting,
arguing, and weed
Yesterday I wore a cardigan at dinner with your sweet,
and supportive
And during the fourth quarter,
of the Eagles!
Now re ward it!"
You know I don't
Fast forward some more, June 16, 2074
Old LD looking old as fuck
Still with the same ho, holding up
My life sucks, legs hurt
Friends dead, realtors
My dick looking like it's tinfoil
Her tits looking like they hard
boiled eggs
On top of that, she insane
Like I don't even think she
knows who I am
Our kids moved away,
we've been doing the same shit for days
Maybe months, who knows
Probably going to die soon
Pretty scared I ain't even
going to lie to you
Think about it all day, on my last legs
But I'm going out with a bang
I got pills they in vented back in '57
I took five, that's a bit excessive
I look high, take a look at my thighs
and good god that's a little erection
It'll work though
Now I've gotta find the ho
I'm pretty much blind at this point,
I don't know if I mentioned that yet
But I am
Made my way into the bedroom
and there she is
I'm like
"Look, I don't know if you're aware that
you've been throwing out my shoes
What I do know is I'm sick of
doing nothing here with you
All my blood is in my dick,
I"m probably dying pretty soon
Are you even comprehending what I'm saying,
please acknowledge that you hear me."
You know I don't give a damn
whatcha playing right now
This is me coming at you as
a man right now
Lemme freak
Lemme freak, god dammit,
lemme freak (Lemme freak)
Just lemme freak, please god
Just lemme freak
