Tom: E major
Verse 1
D
I just wanna show my appreciation
to how much
A
I love kids and teens between the ages
Verse 2
Em
Why, are kids so fucking stupid?
A
Did their parents not beat them
hard enough-enough-enough?
G
A
D
I I I try,
Em
to empathize with teens
A
Because when I was younger I was
G
A
D
stupid too-too-too (it's true)
But then I realized,
Em
that I was never this stupid
A
My friends were never this stupid,
G
y'all are just dense-dense-dense
A
D
Em
Like Like Like damn, I'm really,
really concerned
A
I wish your father would use that wooden spoon-spoon-spoon
G
A
D
(just fucking fucking beat them already)
I was being ironic man, what a fucking loser
Verse 3
Do you have-
D
Em
Listen kids, being edgy is okay
A
But the same ten jokes in a row,
that's not okay-okay-okay
G
A
D
Like Like Like damn,
Em
is that all you can come up with?
A
G
If you're gonna be racist, at least be original,
A
D
please (yeah, we're dead serious)
If you're under seventeen,
Em
please don't ever talk to me
A
You think this is part of the act, but
G
A
D
please don't come near me
Verse 4
Em
Dude, get a load of this guy! He's never heard of irony
A
before! What a fucking loser dude!
Jimmy it's past your bedtime
G
Dad no
D
Dad, I was just being ironic
I don't care
No dad please
No, you're being a piece of shit,
Em
take these spanks you little bitch
daddy please
Who do you think you are? Who the
G
fuck do you think you are?
A
D
Talking to people on the internet like you're some piece of shit,
calling irony
I was just being ironic
Em
Take these fucking spanks,
you dumbass kid
A
I should've never given birth
to you, you piece of shit
Take that, I'm out of here, fuck you son
If I should even call you son
A
Daddy, have you ever heard
of irony before?
Verse 5
I was just kidding, that crying was ironic,
I wasn't actually crying
What the fuck did you just say? You want
me to come back here? Huh?
Nothing daddy
That's what I fucking thought,
go back to bed, it's nine pm
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