Tom: G major•
Verse 1
G
D
G
Well,
D
it took me a woman late last night,
I was three -fourths drunk, she
G
D
G
looked all right.
D
Just started peeling off her onion gook,
G
she took off her wig, said, how do I look?
I was high -flying, bare -naked,
D
G
out the window
D
Well, sometimes I might get drunk
G
Walk like a duck and smell like a skunk
D
Don't hurt me, nonna, don't
hurt my pride
D
G
lady right by my side
She's a -tryin' to hide,
pretendin' she don't know
D
Dm
D
G
me
on the old woodshed
G
When a can of black paint, it fell on my head
D
I went down to scrub and rub
G
But I had to sit in back of the tub
D
Dm
D
Cost a quarter, half price
G
D
When my telephone rang, it would not stop
G
It's President Kennedy callin' me up
what do we need
to make the country grow?
G
I said, my friend John, Bridget Bardot
Anita Eckberg, Sophia Loren
D
G
The country'll grow
feet short
She yells and hollers and
pats me on the head
G
Rolls me over and kicks me out of bed
She's a man -eater, a meat grinder,
D
Dm
G
a bad loser
D
Oh, there ain't no use in me
workin' all the time
G
I got a woman who works herself blind
D
works up to her britches,
up to her neck,
G
writes me letters and sends me checks.
D
G
She's a humdinger, folk singer.
D
Late one day in the middle of the week,
G
eyes were closed, I was half asleep.
D
I chased me woman up the hill
G
right in the middle of an irate drill.
jumped the fallout shelter,
I jumped the string beam,
I jumped the tv dinner,
Dm
D
G
I jumped the shotgun.
D
I had a man on the stand,
he wants my vote,
Dm
D
he's run ning for office on a ballot note,
G
D
Dm
he's out there preaching in
front of the steeple,
D
G
telling me he loves all kinds of people.
he's eating bagels
he's eating pizza
D
Dm
D
G
he's eating chitlins
D
G
i flicked the channel to number four
comes a football man
G
with a bottle of oil in his
hand greasy kid stuff
D
Dm
What I want to know, Mr. Football Man,
D
Dm
D
G
is what do you do about Willie Mays,
Martin Luther King,
Dm
D
G
Ola Tunji, whoa -oh -oh.
D
Dm
Well, the funniest woman I ever seen
was the great -granddaughter
D
G
of Mr. Clean.
D
Dm
She takes about 15 baths a day
D
Dm
Wants me to grow a mustache on my face
G
Dm
G
She's insane
Dm
Well, you ask me why I'm drunk all the time
G
It levels my head and eases my mind
D
Dm
I just walk along and stroll and sing
G
I see better days and I do better things
I'll catch dinosaurs,
G
G
make love to Elizabeth Taylor,
G
catch hell from Richard Burton
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