Tom: Ab major
Verse 1
G
F
G
F
Harry, this is not
Verse 2
G
They told me it had c- c- colored
G
And that's always a sure sign of good,
solid
Musical entertainment!
Verse 3
Know they'd be this ugly?
D
Harry! they fuckin' pissed on us!
Verse 4
F
I know, dearbut they pissed on
me toohe
G
Did say they were incontinent!
Verse 5
we should get out of
G
Here before they do something else to us!
Verse 6
F
Leave? Now? At these ticket
wasn't real piss
They probably have
F
A formula some special stuff
Comes out right out of the fur
G
F
with woolite
Verse 7
G
What's happened to broadway
D
Harry? Used to be you could
Come to one of these
G
Things and the wind would be
Rushing down the plain
F
G
Or a fairy on a string would go
over the
Audiencebut now Harry I ask
D
You is this entertainment?
Verse 8
G
You're absolutely correct
F
Dear! So far we haven't seen a
G
Single good- looking pair of legsa
Single sequin- encrusted
whatchamacallit
D
No firm, rounded breasts!
G
This show is a disaster, Rhonda
A complete and utter disaster!
Verse 9
Thass right! hey
D
G
You! you two ugly white
folksover heahhh!
Verse 10
F
As you know
De presence of carboniferous
Unemployables has gen'rally, in
Guaranteed an evenin' of upliftin'
G
F
Frolic and cavortmentit'd
Be a shame fo y'all t'miss
G
On dis here one! got some nice
chairs fo' ya
Uhhhbeg pardon? What's going on here?
Verse 11
G
Oh! they're touching me! Harry!
G
Do something! They're putting
Me! I'll be stuck to
Do? I'll miss intermission!
Verse 12
F
They're only 'theater chains'
Rhonda! just some sort of
Verse 13
G
These are real goddam chains,
harry
And they're not gonna
I don't mind the way they
Verse 14
G
Feelthey don't bother
me
F
Honeyrelax! Go with the flow
Verse 15
F
C
G
Harry, you are an over-
F
G
educated shit head!
Verse 16
G
D
Look here, folksdis only
Protexium! once we gets rollin' heah
F
Things be happnin' all over de place
G
F
Dat could prove dangerous to
G
Persons not previously acquainted wit de
D
San Quentim mashed potatoes!
Verse 17
D
G
I want the wind to come rushing
F
Down the plain! I want fairies
G
F
G
On a string over the audience! I
D
Want real broadway entertainment!
G
feathers!
F
Spot- lights! guilt! hours upon
C
F
G
Hours of guilt! About
my mother! about my
D
Father! about brave women, suffering at
insensitive
F
Dominating men! and what do I get?
G
F
G
a potato
Headed jig- a boo with Catholic
D
Clothes on! incomprehensible
G
Duck lips! weak bladders draining
F
through
G
Abnorminably large organs! Jesus
D
Harry! What the fuck is going on here?
Verse 18
G
Simmer down! If you'll just roll with
F
The punchesand don't rock the boat
C
G
I'm sure we'll have a lovely
Evening at the theater!
Verse 19
G
D
Thass right! we got fairies on a string fo
G
Yo ass jes' a little later! meanwhile
F
I b'lieves y'all requires some
Updatement on de
G
G
Co- log- nuh situatium! sister
Ob'dewlla
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AfinadorE A D G B E
AcordesG F D C
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