Tom: G# minor
Verse 1
Em
Am
Em
B
It was late one night,
Am
I was reading the New York Post.
B
Another article about Amy Fisher,
Em
the girl we loved to hate the most.
Suddenly out of the corner of my eye,
Am
I saw something move on the rug.
B
It was brown, it was shiny,
it had a lot of legs.
Em
Good God, it's a great big bug.
Em
I started breathing real heavy.
Am
My heart was beginning to pound.
B
If my neighbor could have heard
right through these walls,
she'd think a love thing
I threw the newspaper on top of the bug
Am
and started stomping all over the place.
Don't take it personally
Em
what I've done to your face.
I'm not afraid of the water,
B
But when I see a great big bug,
Em
I know that one of us must die
I jumped back, everything got really quiet,
Am
then the newspaper started to rustle
B
Suddenly two antennae emerged,
Em
oh look at that big bug hustle
B
Em
He ran right into my bathroom.
Am
He hid behind the blue trash basket.
I rolled up the paper.
Em
I said, say hello to your casket.
I don't know how he did it,
Am
but that bug just disappears.
B
It's the middle of the night.
I've got no bug spray.
Em
I haven't needed it for years.
So I poked around with a coat hanger.
Am
Then I swished around with a broom.
B
But I had to get to sleep,
so I announced to the bug,
Am
Em
B
tomorrow you will meet your doom.
Em
I'm not afraid of the water,
Am
I'm not afraid to fly.
B
But when I see a great big bug,
Em
I know that one of us must die.
The next morning I woke up in a cold sweat.
Am
It was time to resume the chase.
making sure the point of impact
was Joey Buttafuco's face.
Em
But I poked, and I searched,
and I looked, and I poked
Am
I could not find that bug
B
Till I got this sinking feeling
Em
That I should take a peek in the tub
There it is! So big!
Am
There's no way I can get near
There's gotta be some kind of
Shaboos? No Cuties? No
Am
But there must be something
in this room
weapon of choice,
Em
Elizabeth Taylor Passion Perfume.
So I spray and I spray and
I spray and I spray
Am
and he tries to climb out of the tub.
B
But he slides back on the slippery tracks,
but he's not giving up.
Em
So I spray and I spray
and I spray and I spray,
Am
but he keeps running around.
B
Eureka! I put the plunger on top of him,
Em
that ought to keep him down.
Just then the telephone rings,
I pick it up, I say, Hi, this is Chris,
Am
I can't talk, I'll have to call you back.
B
And my friend on the phone says,
Oh my God, what's going on?
Sounds like you're having
And I tell him about this monstrous bug
that I have just imprisoned
B
And he says, Well, that's easy,
just pump up and down a couple of times.
Em
That ought to put him under.
I'm not afraid of the water.
Am
I'm not afraid to fly.
B
But when I see a great big bug,
Em
I know that one of us might die.
But now the plunger is
stuck hard to the tub.
Am
I'm afraid to pull it free.
B
But my friend on the phone says,
come on, you can do it.
Em
Show some New York bravery.
I pull it off with a,
but the bug's still alive.
Am
He keeps running around again.
B
So I spray and I spray and
I spray and I spray
Em
and he runs right down the drain
and I spray and I spray and I spray and I
Am
spray and I spray because I can't stop
B
I praise the lord for Elizabeth Taylor
Em
then I spray out the very last drop
then I scream and I scream and I scream and I
Am
scream and I stuff the newspaper in the drain
B
I may have won this battle
but I know that bug is going
So now I live in fear of a great big bug
Am
that smells like a movie queen
B
I'm afraid it's gonna come back
to act out a sequel to this death
But I'm prepared,
B
Em
I've sprayed raid on my wrists,
Am
I wear roach motels off my ears
B
And this rolled up copy of
the New York Post
Em
helps me cope with my fear
B
Em
I'm not afraid of the water,
B
But when I see a great big bug,
Em
I know that one of us must die.
I'm not afraid of the water,
Am
I'm not afraid of flies.
Em
B
But when I see a great big bug,
Outro 1
I know that one of us must die.
Em
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