Tom: D major•
Verse 1
D
G
D
G
C
Feeling kind of
dapper in my newest creation,
C#dim
I stepped out for
D
Dm
Swinging my malacca umbrella
Dm
G
C
I went strolling down the boulevard.
Now I knew I was creating a
sensation
F
and giving the pedestrians a treat.
Dm
D
Why? Because children pointed
They had never seen open
-toed sneakers
with the cuticles painted.
But as I stepped into my town
and country jeep,
who do you think I meet?
Lady Sussex?
No. Countess Caritas?
No. Roosterhead McGinty?
Definitely not.
It was Elsie Peppapood, a society columnist.
I can visualize her daily column saying,
quote,
C
G
C
Seated at Pismo Beach Clam House
was Jimmy Durante.
Wearing a two -tone striped
C#dim
her ringbone suit,
G
with the herring removed.
Dm
And in his nuts lapel,
a boutonniere.
Dm
G
And setting off his Winsdor tie,
C
G
was his tan reverse calfskin shoes.
Ab
Amongst the ten best -dressed men,
G
Durante is definitely number eleven.
Unquote.
E
As we greeted each other effusiously,
A
Am
A
I took Miss Peppapoo by the arm.
G
While I complimented her on her attire,
My clothes I waited for her to admire,
And I waited, and I waited, and I waited,
And I waited, and I waited.
Why, the styles changed three times
while I was waiting.
you don't belong,
In other words, I'm a fugitive,
C
A
A fugitive from Esquire.
What a blow!
shunned by those in the know.
A
they criticized my long underwear.
And, hint,
D
I should wear tailored precision shorts
G
with cross -ventilations. But what would
that get me?
Pneumonia.
C#dim
A
I was invited down to Newport on a big yacht.
D
I came in my new baiting suit,
and what happened?
G
I was the subject of malicious gossip,
and the captain told me why.
Ab
You see, my trunks fitted all right,
but my halter kept slipping off my shoulder.
G
F
Now, was there any reason for the captain
to give each sailor an oar
C
And say, sorry, Mr. Durante,
you're not wanted.
G
The dinky will take you ashore.
How do you like that?
In one minute, I went from a lifted pinky
to a lowered dinky.
Me Durante the Delatante.
G
They claimed I should have worn
a double -breasted marine blue flannel
blazer with brass buttons,
G
white cricket -clawed slacks,
Nassau coconut straw hat with club band,
and white buckskin unlined shoes
with red rubber soles and heels,
and laces to match.
What the heck am I, a
man or a peacock?
C
That's why I'm a fugitive,
D
I'm just a shattered, I'm just a broken,
G
C
I'm just a shattered, broken fashion plate.
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AfinadorE A D G B E
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