You are to see me brother,
his Christian name is Paul
He's lately joined a football club,
seen he's mad about football
And he's got two black eyes already,
and teeth out from his gob
Since Paul became a member
of that terrible football club
Because he's football crazy,
he's football man
The football it has taken away,
the little bit of sense he had
And it would take a dozen servants
to wash his clothes and scrub
Since Paul became a member
of that terrible football club
The first match he played in,
I was there meself and saw
He had two old coats for goalpost
and a tin can for the ball
The Lord Mayor was present
with all his ladies grand
So Paul he got an orange box
and made them all a stand
Because he's football crazy,
he's football mad
The football, it has taken away
the little bit of sense he had
And it would take a dozen servants
to wash his clothes and scrub
Since Paul became a member
of that terrible football club
In the middle of the field the other day,
the captain said to Paul
Would you like to take this place?
Kicks earned your mind about football
Well, he took forty paces backwards,
shot off from the mark
The ball went sailing o 'er the stand
and landed in New York
Because he's football crazy,
he's football mad
The football, it has taken away
the little bit of sense he had
And it would take a dozen servants
to wash his clothes and scrub
Since Paul became a member
of that terrible football club
Now his wife, she said she'll leave him
if Paul doesn't keep
Away from football
kicking at night time in his sleep
He yells, that was a beauty,
and other things so droll
Last night he kicked her out of bed
and swore it was a goal
Because he's football crazy,
he's football mad
The football it has taken away
the bit sense he had
And it would take a dozen servants
to wash his clothes and scrub
Since Paul became a member
of that terrible football club