Tom: B minor
Verse 1
Um, our anniversary's comin' up, it's
a pretty big one
Em
And, um, I wrote a song for you
Bm
So I'm just leaving you this
voicemail because, um
Em
Bm
I want the song to begin
with this voicemail
Em
Like, I want the voicemail to play
at the beginning of it
Bm
So, if you could just download this
Em
voicemail when you get it
Bm
And then text it to me
Um, you might need to, like, download
Em
Bm
another app to download the
I don't know if you can rip your
Em
voicemail right off your phone
You might need to, like
Em
don't call me and ask me
'Cause I know,
D
I know what you're gonna do
You're gonna,
And you're gonna think you just
Em
And you're gonna call me,
but then I'm just gonna Google it
Bm
So, just you Google it, you're an
adult, you can figure it out
Em
Bm
Um, so just, figure it out and text
me the voicemail
Um, immediately, if you wouldn't mind
Em
Like, right when you get this
Bm
Em
Thank you, um, I love you, bye
D
Bm
You're my be st friend, I
Verse 2
F#m
Bm
You know me and I know
Em
you (know you)
F#m
Bm
We got prob lems that we've been
Em
through (been through)
F#m
Em
Bm
We got shit that we'll get through, uh
Em
You think I'm rude to you
Bm
You think I am the worst
Em
Because I ask when you suck my dick
Bm
You take out your Invisalign first
F#m
Five years, five years Still
Verse 3
Bm
you, still me, still here
Em
F#m
Five years, five years, baby
Bm
Five years, five years
F#m
Em
We order Chinese, I'm eating my
Verse 4
Bm
dumplings
You reach over and you take
You don't even say,
Bm
"Do you mind?" or nothing
Why would you assume that
Em
you're entitled to a dumpling?
F#m
Bm
So I look at you, you look back at me, like,
F#m
"What the fuck did I do?"
Em
F#m
If you really wanted some dim sum, then
Bm
You really should've gotten some
Em
when we put in the order
Bm
You say, "You're a psycho and
Em
I-I don't don't wanna fight
F#m
So, let's just drop this,
"Okay, but for the record
Em
You owe me a dumpling,
Bm
I mean it, I won't forget
Em
Bm
D
You owe me a dumpling
Verse 5
or a dumpling equivalent"
Em
F#m
Five years, five years
Bm
Still you, still me, still here
Em
D
F#m
Five years, five years, baby
Bm
Em
Five years, five years
Verse 6
Bm
We found a spider in the house
You freaked and you jumped
D
Bm
Since I was close and able
I jumped up on the coffee table
Em
You said, "You should kill that"
Bm
I said, "Um, no, fuck that"
Em
Bm
You said, "Come on, be a man"
D
What?
Bm
Em
You're a total anti-sexist,
D
Em
Bm
a patriarchy fighter
Em
D
But your whole worldview collapses
Em
Bm
The moment there's a spider, cool
Em
F#m
I get it, this is the real you
Bm
F#m
It's a pleasure, nice to meet you
Em
Shit like this brings the
Verse 7
until there is a spider around
Em
F#m
Five years, five years
Bm
Still you, still me, still here
Em
D
F#m
Five years, five years, baby
Bm
Five years, five years
Verse 8
Em
F#m
How come every time I need to
Bm
take a poo in the bathroom
You out of the blue need to
F#m
Just use the guest room bathroom
F#m
Just use the guest room bathroom
Bm
That's why we got two bathrooms
Em
F#m
Bm
And you know
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AfinadorE A D G B E
AcordesBm Em D F#m
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