Tom: Ab major•
Verse 1
Ab
C5
Hey, this is Larry the Cable Guy,
Ab
and I just got a little problem about Christmas,
and you know what it is?
Visiting relatives.
What is it about visiting holiday relatives
that make you gain about 20 pounds
over the holidays?
They'd make an Ethiopian
loosen his pants
and take a Tums.
Is it because you'd rather
have a mouthful of cake
than talk to relatives?
As soon as you walk through the door,
it's like buffet world in there.
It's ridiculous.
Merry Christmas!
Shut up and eat this pie.
Eb
Ab
When you're done with that,
we got a plate of meatloaf for you
and two bags of Cheetos
and a bucket of ice
cream with chocolate chips.
And hurry up. Eat it.
We got to go meet your cousins
after lunch down there at the Bonanza
for the Christmas buffet.
Gb
Ab
No wonder all my relatives
look like a herd of hogs.
Good God. If my Aunt Debbie don't start hitting the Holiday Salad Bar,
she's going to explode
on Christmas Day
and splatter us
all with half -digested pancakes
and cheese grits.
The holiday to relatives
has turned into a food fart fest,
it's ridiculous.
Merry Christmas!
What the hell?
Hey, Uncle Wade,
pass the finger wieners.
Thanks. Who wants taters?
C5
Grandma.
Ab
Gb
Ab
Boy, there's plenty of ham balls.
Eat up!
Hey, wash that sandwich down
with a gallon of eggnog.
Boy, what a beautiful Christmas.
Bbm
next Christmas I'm gonna stay home
Ab
Cb
Ab
and eat a daggone celery stick.
Db
This is ridiculous, get her down.
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