Tom: A major
Verse 1
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G
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Hey!
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Bb
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F
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G
Do you know what you are?
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C
G
You're an asshole!
Bb
C
G
An AS SHOLE!
Verse 2
C
Bb
F
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G
agree
'Cause you probably likes a lot
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G
Bb
F
C
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of misery
C
But think a while and you will see...
Am
Broken hearts are for assholes
Broken hearts are for assholes
Verse 3
Broken hearts are for assholes
Dm
Are you an asshole too?
Interlude 1
'cause you're an asshole...
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G
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Verse 4
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lonely guy
Maybe you think you're too
C
Bb
C
G
tough to cry
So you went to The Grape,
Just to give it a try
C
Verse 5
And Dagmar
Without a doubt,
the ugliest son of a bitch I ever saw in my life
C
D
G
One Two Three Four!
Verse 6
D
G
The whiskers sticking out
Pancake make-up
Em
C
Em
And And yet he was a beautiful lady
C
Em
Nearly drove you insane
Verse 7
C
Leather: LEATHERRRRRR
Em
And so you kissed a little sailor
C
Tex Abel, starring in the latest
Em
Shepperton Production:
C
Who had just blew in from Spain
Eb
Bb
C
Sir Richard Pump-A-Loaf You
Verse 8
Am
D
You You sniffed the reeking
The story of a demented bread-boffer
Em
And acted like it was cocaine
Verse 9
Cucumber pud annexed
C
Dm
to a fine whole-wheat loaf
loaf
D
You were dazzled by the ex citing
Then Then on Tuesday night,
Caesar's back in town
Em
B
In a way you can't explain
D
C
Facing off in a no-holds-barred tag tag tag
Verse 10
team grudge match
With Kona.
And so you worked the wall with
Michael
Three-hundred-seventy-nine pounds pounds
Em
pounds pounds of Samoan dynamite
Verse 11
Which gave your back an awful strain
G
D
But you came back on Sunday
C
Em
for the gong show
Next Thursday, teen town's finest...
Verse 12
C
D
But you forgot what I was sayin'
G
'Cause you're an asshole,
That's right
G
C
You're an asshole, you're an asshole
Verse 13
You're an asshole,
G
C
you're an asshole
That's right
C
G
you're an asshole
Verse 14
G
C
Now you been to The Grape 'n'
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'N' now I think you know what you
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G
are: you're an asshole
Verse 15
G
You say you can't live with what
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Bb
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you been through
Well, ladies you can be an asshole
C
G
too
You might pretend you ain't got one
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G
C
on the bottom of you,
Em
But don't fool yourself girl
Verse 16
Em
Don't fool yourself girl
Em
Don't fool yourself girl
Verse 17
That's why I say
G
I'm gonna ram it, ram it, ram it
Verse 18
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Verse 19
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
C
F
G
Wrist-watch; Crisco
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Verse 20
Verse 21
G
C
G
Don't fool yourself, girl
C
It's goin' right up yer poop chute
G
Don't fool yourself, girl
C
It's goin' right up yer poop
G
D
C
chute
(etc., repeats)
Verse 22
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Aw, I knew you'd be surprised...
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