Tom: Ab major•
Verse 1
Db
Women say funny stuff together
when they shop.
Cb
Cm
They always got fun conversations.
Ab
I overheard this conversation
to these two girls
Db
Ab
one night at the Victoria's Secret
Db
because I was hiding in the
You got to have a hobby
on a weekday, right?
And this girl goes,
my boobs are too big.
Db
Ab
I got to get them reduced.
And I'm like, Come again?
Your boobs is too big.
I'll help you tote them
around the mall
for a couple hours.
You need a spotter,
you give me a holler here.
Boobs it.
You never hear dudes do stuff.
What's wrong Jim?
My wiener's huge,
I don't know what I'm gonna do about it.
I swear it is like an albatross down there.
I can't sleep, my back hurts,
I got strap marks right here,
it is like a piece of timber
just hanging down from there.
I think I'm going to get it reduced,
that's what I'm going to do.
I have had it with this ungodly
large penis
that I carry every day of my life.
Db
Cb
Ab
Yeah, all right, dumbass.
I went to a convenience store the
other day
to get some lottery tickets.
On the safe it says,
cashier does not know
how to open safe.
Yeah, they ought to add to that.
Or speak English and
do subtraction.
All right, I'll add that to it too.
Unbelievable.
This guy was buying lottery tickets.
Lottery's up 320 million
dollars
and the dude said the
Db
Ab
weirdest thing I ever heard.
Db
Ab
He go, oh, I really need that money
Not I'd like to have I need
what kind of trouble
this guy got himself into this year
Eb
Ab
They got that store bed bath
Fm
Bb
Ab
and beyond for women
Db
Ab
They make a lot of money in there.
I'm gonna start my own store
for single fellas bed beer and a blonde
Eb
I done it the best by the other day
Ab
Bb
watching some TV
and they had a commercial
Ab
for the Tempur -Pedic bed on there.
Ab
How long has that thing been?
You ever buy a Tempur -Pedic bed?
I remember when they first come out,
my buddy,
you ought to get a Tempur -Pedic bed,
it conforms to you.
Db
I don't want to wake up next
to the big dent
I brought home the night before,
all right?
Good lord, what'd I sleep with,
a meteorite?
Look at that thing there.
Good lord, forget extra sheets,
I need a dent puller.
That's what I need for that thing.
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