Tom: B minor
Intro 1
A
G
D#
Verse 1
G#m
There was a time when I saw
E
myself a flood- lit figure on the stage
G#m
The Metropolitan Opera,
F#
the Daily Critic's latest rage
C#m
Ebm
But my voice went through a change
Fm
Gbm
about the same time as my skin
Gb
Ebm
Abm
Now the op era is gone and what
A#m
D#m
is left is getting awfully thin
G#m
Verse 2
There was a time when I saw myself
E
a superstar upon the stage
G#m
In someone's rock and roll opera,
F#
but then my throat began to age
C#m
Ebm
And I wound up working night s with
Fm
Gbm
afternoons when I'm awake
Gb
Ebm
Abm
Bbm
So I watch the daily dramas as my life
Ebm
becomes a coffee break
Abm
Verse 3
Ab
Here's the story up to date
Fm
Shirley's found another mate
Cm
Though she'll wind up with
Ebm
Gb
her husband in the end
Db
But her husband's got no life
Bbm
He can't make it with his wife
Ebm
Though his secretary's more
Verse 4
Ab
It's a day- to- day routine and
Cm
Letting Bob and Shirley
Ebm
live my life for me
Db
It's an opera made of soap using
Bbm
oth er people's hope
Ebm
And to morrow's show ain't
Verse 5
Abm
There was a time when I saw myself
E
a clean- cut cowboy on the screen
G#m
A spurs- and- saddle horse opera,
F#
but that's a long- forgotten dream
C#m
Ebm
So I watch Let's Make a Deal
Fm
Gbm
and win the jackpot in my brain
Ebm
Abm
Then it's time to watch the show that's
Bbm
Ebm
got my cerebellum half insane
Abm
Verse 6
Ab
Here's the story down to earth
Fm
Shirley's finally given birth
Cm
She's been carrying the
Gb
Ebm
baby for a year
Gb
Db
Though it don't belong to Bob
Bbm
Who's been fired from
Ebm
his job as a surgeon
Ab
'Cause he's got this sudden fear
Verse 7
Ab
He can't stand the sight of blood
Fm
Meanwhile Shirley's mining Judd
Cm
Who's the father of the kid
Ebm
Gb
Ebm
but he won't give
Db
And tomorrow's show will say
Bbm
what they left out yesterday
Ebm
Ab
And that gives me one good reason I should live
Db
Bbm
Interlude 1
Dbm
Bbdim
Dbm
Ab
F
Bbdim
Ebm
Abm
Verse 8
in a shell
Fm
Bobby's mind is shot to hell
Cm
'Cause he can't recall
Ebm
his name or how he feels
Gb
Db
He's a lost amnesiac
Bbm
Ebm
While his wife is in the back of her station
Ab
wagon notching up her heels
Verse 9
Ab
Meanwhile Bob's assistant nurse
Fm
has some poison in her purse
Cm
And she's gonna slip into
Db
Good old Judd thought up the scheme
Bbm
Good old Judd is Shirley's dream
Ebm
But old Judd don't want
Ab
to share her chicken coop
Verse 10
Ab
And the nurse would like to keep Shirley's
Fm
Cm
body six feet deep in her grave
Eb
Ebm
And chase him to the Baltic Sea
Db
For she sees herself his wife to poor Bob
Bbm
Ebm
Who's found a life as a farmer
Ab
since he lost his memory
Verse 11
Fm
Bobby's bailing up the hay
Cm
Eb
While his wife is in the straw
Ebm
Gb
with Bill and Fred
Db
But she don't feel great inside
Bbm
Ebm
It's that dose of cyanide that the nurse and
Ab
Judd will feed her til she's dead
Verse 12
Ab
There's a baby who just grew
Fm
fifteen years in only two
Ab
Cm
Eb
And she has her eyes on
Ebm
Judd who is her dad
Gb
Db
But of course she can't know that
She just knows just where it's at
As her mother says,
"It's good to be so glad"
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