Tom: B minor
Intro 1
E
D
Bb
Verse 1
Ebm
There was a time when I saw
B
myself a flood- lit figure on the stage
Ebm
The Metropolitan Opera,
Db
the Daily Critic's latest rage
Abm
Bbm
But my voice went through a change
Cm
Dbm
about the same time as my skin
Db
Bbm
Ebm
Now the op era is gone and what
Fm
Bbm
is left is getting awfully thin
Ebm
Verse 2
There was a time when I saw myself
B
a superstar upon the stage
Ebm
In someone's rock and roll opera,
Db
but then my throat began to age
Abm
Bbm
And I wound up working night s with
Cm
Dbm
afternoons when I'm awake
Db
Bbm
Ebm
Fm
So I watch the daily dramas as my life
Bbm
becomes a coffee break
Ebm
Verse 3
Eb
Here's the story up to date
Cm
Shirley's found another mate
Gm
Though she'll wind up with
Bbm
Db
her husband in the end
Ab
But her husband's got no life
Fm
He can't make it with his wife
Bbm
Though his secretary's more
Verse 4
Eb
It's a day- to- day routine and
Gm
Letting Bob and Shirley
Bbm
live my life for me
Ab
It's an opera made of soap using
Bbm
And to morrow's show ain't
Verse 5
Ebm
There was a time when I saw myself
B
a clean- cut cowboy on the screen
Ebm
A spurs- and- saddle horse opera,
Db
but that's a long- forgotten dream
Abm
Bbm
So I watch Let's Make a Deal
Cm
Dbm
and win the jackpot in my brain
Bbm
Ebm
Then it's time to watch the show that's
Fm
Bbm
got my cerebellum half insane
Ebm
Verse 6
Eb
Here's the story down to earth
Cm
Shirley's finally given birth
Gm
She's been carrying the
Db
Bbm
baby for a year
Db
Ab
Though it don't belong to Bob
Bbm
his job as a surgeon
Eb
'Cause he's got this sudden fear
Verse 7
Eb
He can't stand the sight of blood
Cm
Meanwhile Shirley's mining Judd
Gm
Who's the father of the kid
Bbm
Db
Bbm
but he won't give
Ab
And tomorrow's show will say
Fm
what they left out yesterday
Bbm
Eb
And that gives me one good reason I should live
Ab
Fm
Interlude 1
Abm
Fdim
Abm
Eb
C
Fdim
Bbm
Ebm
Verse 8
in a shell
Cm
Bobby's mind is shot to hell
Gm
'Cause he can't recall
Bbm
his name or how he feels
Db
Ab
He's a lost amnesiac
Fm
Bbm
While his wife is in the back of her station
Eb
wagon notching up her heels
Verse 9
Eb
Meanwhile Bob's assistant nurse
Cm
has some poison in her purse
Gm
And she's gonna slip into
Ab
Good old Judd thought up the scheme
Fm
Good old Judd is Shirley's dream
Bbm
But old Judd don't want
Eb
to share her chicken coop
Verse 10
Eb
And the nurse would like to keep Shirley's
Cm
Gm
body six feet deep in her grave
Bb
Bbm
And chase him to the Baltic Sea
Ab
For she sees herself his wife to poor Bob
Fm
Bbm
Who's found a life as a farmer
Eb
since he lost his memory
Verse 11
Cm
Bobby's bailing up the hay
Gm
Bb
While his wife is in the straw
Bbm
Db
with Bill and Fred
Ab
But she don't feel great inside
Fm
Bbm
It's that dose of cyanide that the nurse and
Eb
Judd will feed her til she's dead
Verse 12
Eb
There's a baby who just grew
Cm
fifteen years in only two
Eb
Gm
Bb
And she has her eyes on
Bbm
Judd who is her dad
Db
Ab
But of course she can't know that
She just knows just where it's at
As her mother says,
"It's good to be so glad"
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AfinadorE A D G B E
AcordesE D Bb Ebm B...
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