Tom: B minor
Intro 1
D#
C#
A
Verse 1
Dm
There was a time when I saw
Bb
myself a flood- lit figure on the stage
Dm
The Metropolitan Opera,
C
the Daily Critic's latest rage
Gm
Am
But my voice went through a change
Bm
Cm
about the same time as my skin
C
Am
Dm
Now the op era is gone and what
Em
Am
is left is getting awfully thin
Dm
Verse 2
There was a time when I saw myself
Bb
a superstar upon the stage
Dm
In someone's rock and roll opera,
C
but then my throat began to age
Gm
Am
And I wound up working nights with
Bm
Cm
afternoons when I'm awake
C
Am
Dm
Em
So I watch the daily dramas as my life
Am
becomes a coffee break
Dm
Verse 3
D
Here's the story up to date
Bm
Shirley's found another mate
F#m
Though she'll wind up with
Am
C
her husband in the end
G
But her husband's got no life
Em
He can't make it with his wife
Am
Though his secretary's more
Verse 4
D
It's a day- to- day routine and
F#m
Letting Bob and Shirley
G
It's an opera made of soap using
Am
And to morrow's show ain't
Verse 5
Dm
There was a time when I saw myself
Bb
a clean- cut cowboy on the screen
Dm
A spurs- and- saddle horse opera,
C
but that's a long- forgotten dream
Gm
Am
So I watch Let's Make a Deal
Bm
Cm
and win the jackpot in my brain
Am
Dm
Then it's time to watch the show that's
Em
Am
got my cerebellum half insane
Dm
Verse 6
D
Here's the story down to earth
Bm
Shirley's finally given birth
F#m
She's been carrying the
C
Am
baby for a year
C
G
Though it don't belong to Bob
D
'Cause he's got this sudden fear
Verse 7
D
He can't stand the sight of blood
Bm
Meanwhile Shirley's mining Judd
F#m
Who's the father of the kid
Am
C
Am
but he won't give
G
And tomorrow's show will say
Em
what they left out yesterday
Am
D
And that gives me one good reason I should live
G
Em
Interlude 1
Gm
Edim
Gm
D
B
Edim
Am
Dm
Verse 8
in a shell
Bm
Bobby's mind is shot to hell
F#m
'Cause he can't recall
Am
his name or how he feels
C
G
He's a lost amnesiac
Em
Am
While his wife is in the back of her station
D
wagon notching up her heels
Verse 9
D
Meanwhile Bob's assistant nurse
Bm
has some poison in her purse
F#m
And she's gonna slip into
G
Good old Judd thought up the scheme
Em
Good old Judd is Shirley's dream
Am
But old Judd don't want
D
to share her chicken coop
Verse 10
D
And the nurse would like to keep Shirley's
Bm
F#m
body six feet deep in her grave
A
Am
And chase him to the Baltic Sea
G
For she sees herself his wife to poor Bob
Em
Am
Who's found a life as a farmer
Verse 11
Bm
Bobby's bailing up the hay
F#m
A
While his wife is in the straw
Am
C
with Bill and Fred
G
But she don't feel great inside
Em
Am
It's that dose of cyanide that the nurse and
D
Judd will feed her til she's dead
Verse 12
D
There's a baby who just grew
Bm
fifteen years in only two
D
F#m
A
And she has her eyes on
C
G
But of course she can't know that
She just knows just where it's at
As her mother says,
"It's good to be so glad"
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