Tom: B minor
Intro 1
C#
B
G
Verse 1
Cm
There was a time when I saw
Ab
myself a flood- lit figure on the stage
Cm
The Metropolitan Opera,
Bb
the Daily Critic's latest rage
Fm
Gm
But my voice went through a change
Am
Bbm
about the same time as my skin
Bb
Gm
Cm
Now the op era is gone and what
Dm
Gm
is left is getting awfully thin
Cm
Verse 2
There was a time when I saw myself
Ab
a superstar upon the stage
Cm
In someone's rock and roll opera,
Bb
but then my throat began to age
Fm
Gm
And I wound up working nights with
Am
Bbm
afternoons when I'm awake
Bb
Gm
Cm
Dm
So I watch the daily dramas as my life
Gm
becomes a coffee break
Cm
Verse 3
C
Here's the story up to date
Am
Shirley's found another mate
Em
Though she'll wind up with
Gm
Bb
her husband in the end
F
But her husband's got no life
Dm
He can't make it with his wife
Gm
Though his secretary's more
Verse 4
C
It's a day- to- day routine and
Em
Letting Bob and Shirley
F
It's an opera made of soap using
Gm
And to morrow's show ain't
Verse 5
Cm
There was a time when I saw myself
Ab
a clean- cut cowboy on the screen
Cm
A spurs- and- saddle horse opera,
Bb
but that's a long- forgotten dream
Fm
Gm
So I watch Let's Make a Deal
Am
Bbm
and win the jackpot in my brain
Gm
Cm
Then it's time to watch the show that's
Dm
Gm
got my cerebellum half insane
Cm
Verse 6
C
Here's the story down to earth
Am
Shirley's finally given birth
Em
She's been carrying the
Bb
Gm
baby for a year
Bb
F
Though it don't belong to Bob
C
'Cause he's got this sudden fear
Verse 7
C
He can't stand the sight of blood
Am
Meanwhile Shirley's mining Judd
Em
Who's the father of the kid
Gm
Bb
Gm
but he won't give
F
And tomorrow's show will say
Dm
what they left out yesterday
Gm
C
And that gives me one good reason I should live
F
Dm
Interlude 1
Fm
Ddim
Fm
C
A
Ddim
Gm
Cm
Verse 8
in a shell
Am
Bobby's mind is shot to hell
Em
'Cause he can't recall
Gm
his name or how he feels
Bb
F
He's a lost amnesiac
Dm
Gm
While his wife is in the back of her station
C
wagon notching up her heels
Verse 9
C
Meanwhile Bob's assistant nurse
Am
has some poison in her purse
Em
And she's gonna slip into
F
Good old Judd thought up the scheme
Dm
Good old Judd is Shirley's dream
Gm
But old Judd don't want
C
to share her chicken coop
Verse 10
C
And the nurse would like to keep Shirley's
Am
Em
body six feet deep in her grave
G
Gm
And chase him to the Baltic Sea
F
For she sees herself his wife to poor Bob
Dm
Gm
Who's found a life as a farmer
Verse 11
Am
Bobby's bailing up the hay
Em
G
While his wife is in the straw
Gm
Bb
with Bill and Fred
F
But she don't feel great inside
Dm
Gm
It's that dose of cyanide that the nurse and
C
Judd will feed her til she's dead
Verse 12
C
There's a baby who just grew
Am
fifteen years in only two
C
Em
G
And she has her eyes on
Bb
F
But of course she can't know that
She just knows just where it's at
As her mother says,
"It's good to be so glad"
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