Tom: C minor
Verse 1
Bbm
B
I woke up stiff.
I woke up sore.
Ebm
My back feels like it just came
B
through the Third World War.
Ebm
Gb
My throne is raw.
Ebm
Abm
I can't remember yesterday.
Gb
Was it toss to kick or kick to toss?
Bbm
Ebm
I've got split ends.
B
Ebm
I haven't had a second to
Abm
B
go buy cream rinse.
B
Bbm
When will they stop?
Abm
And give a girl a break,
B
Ebm
a chance to breathe and shop?
Ebm
We meet the judges today!
B
But nothing budges today!
Gb
B
What do you want to be when you grow up,
Ebm
dear?
Ebm
They interview us today!
B
And try to screw us today!
Hope they got pancakes.
Guess again.
It's powdered eggs.
Ebm
Abm
I woke up with my period.
They fed us better stuff than
Ebm
this at Girl Scout camp.
B
Gb
And someone's up there making guacamole,
B
Gb
lashing avocados since late last night.
Ebm
B
She's gonna win the crown
Bbm
Yeah, she's not white.
Ebm
B
Ladies, Carol's passing out
the day's schedule,
Ebm
B
complete with your private judges' interview appointments.
You've been scheduled at random,
Gb
Ebm
B
not alphabetically, oh girls.
Bbm
Isn't it all exciting?
Ebm
Yeah, I'm just thrilled.
Gb
B
Oh God, I'm gonna kill myself,
they put me first.
Gb
Ebm
My hair's still wet, my brain's still numb,
but someone tell the lions
here the Christians come.
B
Nerves!
Okay, Brenda,
we'll start calling
the girls in now.
B
I've got nerves.
Doria Houston, please.
Ebm
Bbm
I'm all nerves.
Good luck.
Bbm
B
A walking, talking,
Ebm
B
Bbm
walking bundle of nerves.
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